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Adulting 101: Redefining Friendships in Your Twenties

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at York U chapter.

Maintaining strong friendships can be increasingly difficult as you get older. Our priorities and our values tend to change and sometimes, they just don’t align with the people we spend most of our time with. It’s important to invest your time and energy into the people that make you feel good about yourself and that value your friendship because, at this point, time is precious. 

 

It’s significant to note that just because people are busy, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you. We get so busy that we often forget to make time for ourselves, let alone other people. It’s a beautiful thing when you can catch up with a friend after six months of not seeing each other, only to find that nothing has changed in your relationship. Try to keep in touch as best as you can over text messages or phone calls – as long as you check in every so often to make sure your friend is doing well, there should be no hard feelings. 

 

Photo via Pixabay 

 

We all want different things in life. Some of us desire the nine to five work day while some of us want to travel the world – some of us want to do both! Having different desires is not a reason to discontinue a friendship. However, when the core values that initially drove you to develop a strong connection with someone begin to deteriorate or shift, or your interests simply change, you have the right to respectfully move on. If you don’t click anymore, don’t feel the need to prolong it. Letting go maturely and honestly is the best way to go. 

 

Photo via Pixabay 

 

The friends who have prioritized their relationships with their significant others are not to blame. Most of us in our early twenties are just beginning to acquire experience with serious romantic relationships and it’s easy to get caught up or often lose ourselves. Try not to fault your friends, as annoying as this can be. Try to be there for them when they need you, because we’re all just learning and trying to make things work in our busy lives. If their lack of attention to you is deeply affecting you, don’t be afraid to talk to them about it; it’s likely they don’t even recognize that they’re hurting your feelings. 

 

Photo by Alexis Brown 

 

Quality over quantity is the name of the game. We’re all building and developing old and new friendships as life goes on, it’s natural that we’re going to hit a few bumps in the road along the way. It’s alright to naturally part ways in relationships, too. Know that there’s always a chance that you’ll come together again when the time is right. We’re all going through this complicated journey that we call life – you deserve to have wonderful people by your side.

Averie Severs is one of the Her Campus CC's for the York U chapter. She is a film production major with a focus in documentary filmmaking.