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Heartbreak hurts. There is no other way to put it. It is physical and mental and all-encompassing and it seems like it will last forever. 

I’ll be honest, my first heartbreak hurt for a really long time, as I am sure some of yours did. But one of the great things about humans is that we have the capacity to love again and what is better than being in love? 

I always say a first love is like jumping off a cliff. You have no idea there is ground at the bottom, so it just feels like flying. But you’re not flying, and you do hit the ground, and your heart breaks. So how do you enter a second relationship knowing that the ground exists? And what do you do when you hit it for the second time? 

I’m getting through heartbreak no.2 and it feels a little like looking down the barrel of a gun. You already know the pain of an ended relationship and have a scary understanding of what the months ahead look like. Missing someone is exhausting and it’s easy to submit yourself to the pain. 

But I am keeping my head up and you should too! Here is how I am dealing with heartbreak no.2:

(Now, I’m lucky in the way that both my relationships ended in love. No burning clothes or smashing picture frames. However, I am confident those are also effective methods if that applies to you.)

1. Feel lucky. I know it sounds stupid because heartbreak is kind of the most unlucky thing in the world. But, not everyone gets to experience love and you have gotten to experience it twice! To love and to lose is always better than to never love at all. In the process of love and heartbreak, you have grown and changed and learned. 

2. Get excited. Remember after your first heartbreak? When you vowed you would never love again? And that you would never find anyone else? Well, you did! You just got a real-life lesson that there is so much more out in the world than you think. Even if it didn’t work out and even if it hurts, you now know that there are options, and you have your whole life to figure it out. Just imagine what or who else is out there. 

3. Take some “me time.” Being in a relationship means spending a lot of time thinking about somebody else. This is a great opportunity to think about yourself. Be selfish! What do YOU want? How do YOU feel? Go out just to spend time with your friends. Spend your downtime doing whatever you feel like. Independence is scary but it’s also freeing. You gotta love yourself before you can love someone else. Take some time to love yourself!

I know it’s preachy and I know it’s cheesy, but the world is big and we are young. Heartbreak means that you got to feel love and the pain means it was real and that you are human. Whether it’s the end of a serious relationship or a situationship, whether it is the second or third or fourth or even fifth heartbreak, take the time to see the positives and take the time to love yourself. You deserve it. 

Georgia Bynum is so excited to be an editor from the Yale HerCampus branch this year! She loves hiking, skiing, and anything outdoors and visited 15 national parks this year. Most importantly, she is passionate about writing and loves to be able to write articles on a platform by women and for women.
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