Sometimes the stress of college can cause even the strongest relationships to break. You are moving away from your friends you have known forever. Schedules get filled up and pretty soon you go weeks without talking to people that you used to talk to everyday. Feelings of loneliness are valid. So, do you continually text someone at the risk of bothering them in hopes of a response? If someone is not making the effort why should you?
To get more insight here is how some of the Her Campus WVU writers felt.
Haylee Hickman:
“I think our generation really cares about each other despite what people may think. We bond by talking about the things we’ve been through and that’s unique. But, the biggest fault I feel that we have is that we don’t talk to each other. I think feeling guilty about not reaching out to those we love is hard when we think that they don’t return the favor. For me, that doesn’t matter. I want to be the friend that checks on everyone. College is hard enough on your mental health and I wouldn’t want to make my friends feel worse by berating them about why they haven’t texted me. I get it- people are crazy busy, but that doesn’t mean people don’t deserve your attention.”
Jamie Schiren:
“I personally feel like this is a big issue that a lot of people struggle with. I know for a fact that no one ever checks in on me and it leaves me wondering why I have to be the first one to reach out all the time. I often care too much about how my friends feel and it’s never reciprocated. I know people are busy, but if someone does reach out, you should be able to do the same if you want to maintain the friendship. It’s just common courtesy and in this age, it’s slowly deteriorating.”
Leah Schoolcraft:
“I think about this a lot actually. I often feel terrible for not reaching out to people that used to be so important in my life, I used to even try to text everyone in my contacts that I didn’t see at least once a week. As I grew older though, I realized that the favor wasn’t being reciprocated and didn’t feel the need to reach out anymore. I also realized that people are busy with their lives and don’t have time to send weekly texts to those who they don’t see as often. Bottom line: If they are important enough to reach out to me and stay involved in my life, I make sure they are appreciated with the same velocity as they gave me. If not, then I wish them all the best but I’m not putting forth that energy.”
Zaida Pring:
“All of my friends from back home said we would talk every day and we don’t. It’s hard to stay in contact when you don’t see each other every day, and that’s why a lot of relationships fail when college starts”
Maura Flynn-Therber:
“College really is the time to be selfish. You don’t have the luxury of succeeding and being your best self if you’re putting others before you and your wellbeing. This doesn’t mean relationships are impossible– you need a solid social life to balance out the stress you might be feeling from college life. Surround yourself with people that respect your time, respect theirs and know when distance can be a good thing. Strike a good balance between school work and a social life and just work on keeping that up. Don’t put too much pressure on your friends to check in especially if you’re busy too because we’re all dealing with hectic schedules and different priorities.”