My boyfriend and I had been dating for two years when we decided that moving in together would be the next step in our relationship — despite the fact that we were still college students. We definitely received our fair share of friends asking, “Why would you do that? You’re throwing away your college experience!” Despite being “too young,” we knew what we were doing was right for us, and we signed a lease together for the next school year.
The timeline is different for every couple, but my boyfriend and I had grown from friends, to best friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend before we became roommates. We were already spending an insane amount of time at each other’s apartment, so why not?
However, it was not a decision that we took lightly. There was a list of things we wanted to check off before we made the trip to the leasing office. How would we split expenses? How much time would we dedicate to one another? Would my boyfriend finally cave in and let me get a dog? It was a conversation that lasted over the course of several weeks.
First and foremost, the price of rent, groceries, utilities and leftover spending money were our primary concerns. Rent in Morgantown can be pretty expensive, especially in the downtown area where we were looking for apartments. Several places required us to rent a two-bedroom apartment instead of a one-bedroom, which ultimately raised the amount we would have to set aside for rent each month. Parking was a whole other issue.
Our number one apartment pick included all utilities except cable and internet, so after careful deliberation, my boyfriend and I decided to try to split up the costs as evenly as possible. Ultimately, one of the best pieces of advice I was given when my boyfriend and I announced our decision concerned the money situation. Money would be a fighting factor in our relationship as it progressed, so planning ahead is key. For us, we decided I would pay for parking and our internet bill, and he would pay for our groceries.
When you come home to the same person every day, whether that be your significant other or your roommate, it can be easy to fall into a habit. My boyfriend and I, although excited to move in together, were worried about neglecting our friends because we would be spending too much time with each other. Now that we have been living together for a semester, our worries were all for nothing. When we moved in in August, we decided that we would set aside days, much like we did before we had moved in together, for each other, and we would spend the rest of our time with our friends or on our own. Having established that ground rule early, we were able to avoid plenty of petty arguments and irritability on each other’s behalf.
When it comes to chores, my boyfriend and I fell into a habit at the beginning of our lease. Whoever cooks gets out of doing the dishes for the evening. If one of us vacuumed, the other cleaned the kitchen counters. Our ideal situation is a give-give method. We’re pretty competitive, so when one of us does something, the other tries to do something else better. But for couples who aren’t the same way, deciding on a chore chart is a great way to avoid bickering in the future.
Possibly the biggest decision during the process was the age-old question: What happens if we break up? It was a decision that required a lot of thought and a bit of ambition. Obviously, we thought that would never happen, but we needed a backup plan in case it did — we were in this lease for a year, how would we make things work? Ultimately, giving each other space if it ever came to this, along with a few other factors, influenced our decision.
The decision to live with your significant other in college is an adult decision that requires a lot of thought on both ends. Ultimately, the decision remains with both parties, and couples should remember to follow their own timeline.
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Edited by Geena Anderson