Girl math, girl dinner and the language we use to describe ourselves
We’ve all used the term “girl math” to justify an arguably unnecessary purchase, or “girl dinner” in reference to a dinner compiled of random foods. We’ve probably all said “I’m just a girl” in response to a lighthearted critique of our character or habits. I know I have. But every time I say or hear these phrases, part of me feels like it’s wrong.
Why must math that is objectively incorrect attach itself to the idea of being a girl? Maybe it’s just cute and relatable, but maybe it’s indicative of a larger issue with how society regards women as endearingly dumb. I love the concept of girl math – as a college student, I need every excuse possible to justify spending even five dollars – but I don’t love that we feel the need to label it this way. Can we not think of any other name that isn’t gendered and doesn’t reduce girls’ intelligence and savviness?
Back in 2023 when the digital world was obsessed with girl dinners, I heard a lot of discourse on what message the term conveys to women. On one hand, it’s deeply relatable to enjoy a dinner made up of random, low-effort snacks, and it’s very validating to see millions of people doing the same. It brings people together through a shared everyday experience that most people hadn’t thought about or talked about before. The ability to relate across time and space is one of the best parts about being a girl!
Despite this, I think we need to be very careful about how we label the food people eat, especially with trends marketed to girls and women. Some online critics believe that the trend is a cleverly disguised way to promote unhealthy eating habits for young women. And I would argue that, though the trend started with benign intentions, it evolved to take on a new meaning as creators moved toward small meals rather than unique ones. What are girls supposed to think when they see women online undereating because it’s a “girl dinner?”
Maybe these trends can simply be taken at face value and we don’t need to dissect every hidden meaning. But in my opinion, anything that uses reductionist language in regard to women is worth interrogating. Because it is impossible to sum up the courage, beauty, intelligence and resilience of women with phrases like “I’m just a girl.” Girls are not “just” anything. And it is a disservice to ourselves to ever imply that we are.
None of this is to say that we can’t laugh at ourselves and find humor in our habits and mistakes. I actually think some of the appeal of these phrases comes from how unserious they are. It’s comforting to know that other women also have questionable spending habits, don’t always feel like making dinner and sometimes make decisions that we can only laugh about later. The internet has turned these moments into something communal, and it’s hard to argue against the value of our shared experience.
The problem arises when being a girl becomes the punchline.
Can “girl math” be funny without suggesting that women are bad at math? Can “girl dinner” be relatable without reinforcing the idea that eating less is inherently feminine? And can “I’m just a girl” be an irreverent response without becoming an excuse to underestimate ourselves or disregard the love and beauty we bring to the world? It’s hard to say. Maybe we need to get rid of these phrases altogether, or maybe we just need to think more critically about which stereotypes we reinforce when we use them.
Because there is a difference between laughing with ourselves and laughing at ourselves. There is a difference between celebrating the quirks that connect us and belittling ourselves for the sake of a joke. Quirks and mistakes should never be our identity. They should not be the prerequisites to femininity. Girls are both silly and smart. Both kind and capable. We can buy eight dollar lattes and still understand basic economics. We can eat a random assortment of foods for dinner and still lovingly care for our bodies. We can mess up and make mistakes without diminishing ourselves to make them funny.
Maybe I’m overthinking a few internet trends and turning them into issues that don’t need to exist. Maybe “girl math” really is just girl math. But the language we use really does shape the way we think, and constant exposure to messages that are infantilizing and belittling to women is bound to have an effect. We do not live in a society independent of the words we speak or the ideas they reinforce. The things we joke about become part of the culture around us, even when we’re not aware of them. I don’t want minimizing women’ s experiences to be the baseline of the culture we live in.
We are not “just girls.” We are girls who are figuring things out. Girls who spend too much money, eat what makes us happy and treat ourselves kindly as we make sense of the world around us. Girls who are fiercely kind, deeply intelligent, incredibly resilient and far more capable than we give ourselves credit for. There is absolutely nothing small or insignificant about that.