Before college, I was a generally calm person. Before college, I was never nervous for anything. Before college, I didn’t have anxiety. Thanks to college, I am now anxiety filled. What happened?
Right after I started college, I found that sometimes going to class was stressing me out.
Not just basic stressing me out, but I’m-so-stressed-I-can’t-leave-my-room-to-go-to-class stressed out. I had never had that before. I used to love going to class, so why was I struggling to even leave my room? This would happen when I went to get food as well. I hated doing anything alone, but I didn’t want to be around people. I just didn’t want to do anything.
Not long after this, I had my first massive panic attack.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I had had a couple of panic attacks before during my senior year of high school, but I didn’t know what they were, so I ignored them (which you should NEVER do). Everything happened so quickly. I went from stressing out about something to hyperventilating and not being able to stop sobbing until my face was numb. After I had stopped sobbing, I called my mom. She had no idea what to do or what happened to me. At that point, I had no idea what to do. I talked to a couple of my friends who had anxiety and both of them said what had happened to me was definitely a panic attack. They started talking to me about anxiety and what it was and how to handle it.
Even after talking to them, I still felt confused. I had one question I really wanted answered: Why did this happen to me in college? Why did I develop anxiety when I was 18? What happened to cause this?
This brought lots of googling and talking to my mom and friends. Apparently, college students are at an extremely high risk for developing anxiety. You move away from home, where your parents and your friends (and in my case, my furry/fluffy friends) live, and you go into this situation where you have NO idea what you’re doing. You’re alone in a new place with new and more difficult material that you paid way too much money to learn and now what? What do you do in college? How do you stay calm in college?
After living with mild anxiety for a year and a half now, I have learned what I need to do for me and my anxiety.
If I someone or something is making me anxious, I leave. During the past year, I have tried to ignore my anxiety time and time again. I have tried to force myself to sit through situations and conversations but then I realized: that is NOT okay. I am making myself miserable because I think of other people first. I think of their happiness and what they think of me before I think of my happiness. So now what I do, is I look at them or look at the situation and say to myself, “This isn’t fair to you. You do NOT have to make yourself do this because you are anxious. You can leave. You don’t have to be here”. And I leave. And I feel better after that. I also take time to calm myself down every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep. I listen to music, or read, or write. It typically helps me get into a soothing mindset. Another thing I do is I put a particular lotion on before I leave my room. LUSH has a lotion called “Sleepy” that helps anxiety, depression, and insomnia. It’s probably the best purchase I have ever made. It has soothing scents in it like lavender that are calming. Plus there’s a little bit of sparkle in it, which makes me happy because I love glitter and sparkles.
So, my number one tip to anyone who has anxiety in college or thinks that might have it? Talk to someone.
My friends and my parents are SO supportive of me and can tell when I’m not having the best day. Don’t be afraid to reach out to some of your favorite professors, too. They can see what you’re going through, and some of them have anxiety too. If something happens and you need help they are willing to help. It’s their job. I have had four professors that I have had to talk to my anxiety about and not one of them told me I wasn’t valid or that it was no excuse to behave a certain way. All four of them sat me down and told me that if I ever needed anything they were there for me. One of them even told me that she suffers with anxiety and carries some essential oils and other calming things in her bag for students that struggle with it. People will still love you through your anxiety. They will still support you. They will still be there for you.