I am an Angry Girl

I am an Angry Person

Over the last couple of months, I have experience life changing events. For starters, my grandmother who I considered my best friend past away in the middle of summer, I had people who I trusted with my whole heart, turn their backs on me, and I feel no matter what I do, life is always throwing curve balls.

And to put it bluntly, I am over it.

I am over it, but not over it in the mindset that I have made peace and can move on from it. I am over it, in the fact I am over holding my emotions in and I feel this fire in me, building inside of me.  

I am walking around with fire on my feet, and I can feel the flames building.

I have become an angry person, a ticking time bomb, a cluster of hostility, displeasure, and annoyance.

I am not proud of being an angry person, but it is how I am in the moment.

I am angry, because I do not understand why my grandmother was taken away from me.

I am angry, because I gave my heart away, and gave people the power to hurt me.

I am angry, because I try so hard, yet I always seem to fail.

And I am angry because I am throwing a pity party to myself, and I want to give up.

I know I am stronger than my anger, I know I am more in control over my emotions, I know I should not give on myself.

I know I should not project my anger on people who do not deserve it, because that does not help, it creates more flames in life.

I want to be a happy person, I want to smile and laugh, I want to embrace the world and people again.

I want to think of my grandmother and smile instead of scream and cry. I want to talk to people without thinking “when are they going to betray me”, and I want to take a curve ball in my life and use it as motivation.

I want to be  offended by every rude or mean comment someone says and to stop taking everything personally.

I realize though, I am grieving, I am processing, and I am human.

This is for all my angry girls, for all my girls that are told to stop over reacting, to “let it go”, and to stop taking things personally.

I understand the anger, I understand the frustration, and I understand the challenge.

Being an angry girl makes it hard to not show anger, or not be reactive. It is a process, and it is a journey.

I am angry girl who knows she is an angry girl. I know I need to get counseling, and I am. I know to squeeze a stress ball or go punch a punching bag.

I know anger is an emotion that I should not be ashamed of. It is a valid feeling and being angry is just as valid as being sad or happy.

I am going to overcome my anger, but at the moment I am going to own up that I am an angry girl.

So, Collegiettes if you are an angry girl, you are not alone. If you are hurt by the world, or have experience a lost, it is okay to express your emotion towards it. We are going to get through being angry and mad at the world. I know where I want to be in life and my goal, I want to be happy, but I am now aware that being angry is part of the process of reaching that goal.

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