So, Collegiettes we’ve all been there, looking back on past relationships and all you can think is…yikes!
It’s nothing to be ashamed of because as once said by the great Rascals Flatts, “God bless the broken road…” That’s right, sometimes you’ve got to go through absolute garbage relationships in order to find out that you deserve so much better. Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
The best part is once you start to realize what you’re worth and surround yourself with relationships that are healthy and beneficial to your well-being, then you discover the difference between dirt and gold. This does not only apply to romantic relationships but also friendships. It is important to able to spot the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship.
Problem Solving: it’s bound to happen at some point you and the other person in the relationship just don’t see eye to eye on an issue. It’s not about the issue though that makes the difference, it’s how it is handled. An immature way to resolve an argument usually involves threats, yelling and intimidation. It’s not always obvious and can sometimes be extremely passive. This behavior can leave you feeling beaten down, alone and almost scared to be around that person. Make sure you take a step back and realize that this is a toxic situation. A healthy way to deal with a disagreement includes communication and expression of feelings. Make sure to hear their side of things and truly listen than make sure to keep the conversation between you and that person not spreading the issue around like a wildfire to his or her friends. This can help the situation to defuse and not add fuel to the fire. It’s you two verses the issue at hand not against one another.
Honesty: This is huge in any relationship. Deceitfulness and lying only leads to mistrust and can cause serious emotional damage for someone. Keep the lines of communication open at all times. Honesty is something that we learn in kindergarten yet, many people fail to follow its simple rules: Don’t lie. It’s important to make sure you are honest about situations and how you feel. Honesty builds trust and trust is important for anyone. Losing trust can shatter an entire relationship, working towards building that trust is highly important.
Respect: A huge warning sign of a toxic relationship is how controlling the other person may be. The who, what, where, when and whys are on constant repeat and if you’re not answering text messages in a timely fashion, coming back to a certain location at a certain time, or basically listening to their every wish and command they become upset. STAY AWAY! This is absolute dirt and can leave you feeling alone and cut off from a lot of the world. Finding yourself in this situation can be hard to get out of but, trust me there are some golden relationships waiting out there for you, do not feel confined. Make sure you stick around the people that don’t freak out if you cancel plans every once in a while, that understand you have a life of your own that you need to live and give you a healthy boundary, that is understanding and cares about you and how you are doing in life. Healthy relationships will have trust and leave enough breathing room for the both of you.
Self-Love: Self-love and reflection can help make sure that you are putting your best foot forward for yourself and for others can make a tremendous impact. This is not to say that you need to be confident all the time. We as humans are very critical and can seem to down ourselves often. It’s important to love yourself for everything that you are so you can spread all the good qualities that you bring to the table into those relationships. Once you love yourself you can spread that love to everyone you surround yourself with. This helps make the healthiest of relationships and only help positivity to multiply.
No relationship is perfect and sometimes you have to work through your differences.
Collegiettes, make sure though that you are keeping your heart and head in a stable and healthy loving relationship where the other person’s intentions are pure and only want to build you up. Stay away from people with bad intent in your life that only bring you down and will only cause harm in your life. In the world that we live in today things are hard enough, so make sure that we build each other up to be the best people we can be. It will be as if you have found pure gold!