Being Single in Your 20's

Being single in your 20’s is hard. I should know. I’m single, in my 20’s and in college. If that isn’t the struggle I don’t know what is. I’ve been through casual dating, entanglements, and just plain single. Especially now during the pandemic, dating is moving more and more towards dating apps. This is either an immediate acceptance or rejection in many ways and skips the normal “getting to know you” phase. 

Dating is intense by itself, but doing it in your 20’s is even more intense. In your 20’s you’re either in college or transitioning out of college, dealing with terrible jobs, often broke, and definitely still finding yourself. You’re juggling a lot of things- now add dating to that.

  1. 1. Figure Out Who You Are 

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    Knowing who you are and what you want will be the way you build yourself a happy life and a happy relationship. If you continue to tie who you are to someone else you’ll never find out who you are when you’re by yourself. If you never find yourself how will you know what makes you happy? When you find out what makes you happy then you can communicate that in a relationship which leads to a happy relationship. 

  2. 2. Go Traveling 

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    Move around if you want to, pack a bag and go. You can take a plane, a train, a car, or even backpack. Being single means no one to hold you back so you can just go. There’s no relationship that’s keeping you tied down or trapped at home. If you do travel remember to abide by COVID guidelines and wear a mask to protect yourself and others.

  3. 3. Become Independent 

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    Learn how to do things yourself. It’s great to have the help of friends and family but there’s something so satisfying when you do things yourself. The feeling of being confident knowing that you could survive by yourself is amazing, and it will be your strongest foundation. Knowing how to be independent means you never have to move in with someone for the sole reason being you need someone to take care of you. 

  4. 4. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone 

    girl meditating at sunset

    In relationships, sometimes people get too comfortable. It can become so comfortable that being in that relationship becomes a habit and you never want to make a change. When you’re single it means change is no longer scary and you can actually welcome it. When you take that leap of faith it can lead to something amazing in your life. 

  5. 5. Learn to Love Yourself

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    Learning to love yourself is easier said than done, but when you’re done it’s the best thing in the world. It’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be one and done. It takes time and commitment. I can’t say you won’t have bad moments but I can say you will also have good moments that outweigh the bad. If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you might end up in an unhealthy relationship yourself. What happens internally also happens externally. You want someone to respect you? Love you? Be there for you? Listen to you? You first have to give those things to yourself first. Then when someone comes into your life, you can show them how they can give those things to you. Set your bars high and make people meet those, never lower them.

Failed relationships show you what you don’t want. By dating the wrong people, you’ll know exactly when the right person comes along and you’ll appreciate it so much more. Until that Mr. or Mrs. Right comes along take pride in being single. There’s no deadline to being in a relationship, enjoy your lifelong relationship with yourself. Do things that make you happy, no matter what people say.