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The 411 of Getting Over a Heartbreak

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Winthrop chapter.

There’s no magic way to to heal it, and theres no band-aid big enough to cover up the hole you’re feeling inside. But even if there’s no answer to the incurable disease of heartbreak, at least there’s comfort in finding other people who have gone through it.

It is scientifically proven that all the cells in your body regenerate every 7 years. So that broken heart you’ve been nursing? It will heal. And yes there are the 5 stages of acceptance that any logical person can sort through and jump straight to acceptance, but what about those of us who don’t want to accept it? Those of us who aren’t ready to let go and hide our relationship status on Facebook because we don’t want anyone to see it?

There’s no magic answer, sadly. But there are some truths that will help you get through the stages of grief in order to roam around the area of acceptance. These may be a little harsh, so only continue reading if you TRULY want to get over someone.

When he says he wants a break, that’s just the lazy way of him breaking up with you.

“Oh I’m just busy and I think we should take a break for awhile, I just don’t have the time to give you,” roughly translates too “I just don’t feel like giving my time to you, I want to give it to someone else, but I don’t want to seem like an asshole”.

Don’t let your own delusions cloud your judgement. If they wanted to be with you, then whatever was happening they would work it out. Just right now they want a break up but without all the drama (drama will still ensue, because all your girlfriends will be able to see what he was doing when you won’t admit it to yourself)

Stop with the fantasies.

Quoting Taylor Swift, you and him are never ever EVER getting back together. Stop watching movies, thinking the next day, or week, or month he’ll come running back to you begging for your forgiveness. Movies are not real life. If you fool yourself and believe it will be end up just like a romance movie, then it will make it that much harder to get over the heartbreak.

Don’t try to change yourself or making yourself “disappear”.

After the break up, and after the initial shock, you’re going to think its all your fault. You weren’t pretty enough, skinny enough, had good enough hair, were too needy, ate too much… STOP.

Refusing to eat or telling yourself you aren’t pretty because you suddenly think you’re not good enough is not going to solve anything. He is not sitting behind you in the cafeteria watching you and he does not have friends out monitoring what you do or say, so don’t stop living your life because you and him didn’t match up.

And furthermore, there is no need to sabotage your social life because you’re afraid of seeing him. He broke up with you, he was in the wrong, do not think hiding in your room, watching those romantic movies you shouldn’t be watching, will help. What WILL help is going out with your friends and the people you care if making good memories.

Last, and MOST important, don’t try to create a hatred that isn’t there.

So you and a boy didn’t work out–is it really fair to hate someone because they weren’t the right match for you? You learned something about yourself, they learned something about themselves, there is no reason to get mad just because someone wasn’t the right piece of the puzzle. Stop telling yourself that you won’t find anyond, because you will. You do not need to be getting engaged in college, and keep in mind that the average age people get married is 28…so stop stressing.

You will get heart broken, and you will break someone’s heart in return. There’s going to be days that you wish someone could hold your hand, and there are others that you enjoy feeling free. Count each of those days as a blessing, and don’t limit yourself because you’re afraid.

Emily Murphy has been with Her Campus Media since 2018, and is currently the Branded Content Associate. She was the Campus Correspondent and Editor/President at her chapter at Winthrop University for four years, but has had a passion for all things writing since she was young. When she's not scribbling ideas down for her next branded article, she's watching reruns of Seinfeld while scrolling Pinterest for apartment inspo. Follow her on Instagram at @emilysmurfy