Everyone loves spring because the flowers are blooming, the air is getting warmer, the snow is melting, and summer is coming… except all of that is pure lies. I hate spring: the flowers can’t burst through the frozen ground, the air is freezing in the morning and scorching in the afternoon, the once-pristine snow is turning to gray mush, and summer is nowhere in sight.
Anytime I hear people say that they love spring, my nose crinkles up, my heart freezes over, and I get irrationally angry. I just can’t comprehend why anyone would actually like spring. So, to prove my point, here are 10 reasons spring is arguably the worst season.
1. Spring fever? The name itself just sounds atrocious!
I had the winter cold, fever, and cough all winter long! The last thing I want is something called spring fever.
In spring’s defense, it isn’t actually a fever—it’s just like cabin fever. So, maybe that’s not a great reason to hate spring, but fret not—I will indeed convince you.
2. The weather.
Make up your mind, please! Spring is such a tease because the weather fluctuates so much from day-to-day, let alone hour-to-hour.
Walking out of my house in the freezing morning tundra only to have to peel off layer by layer throughout the day is not helpful to my spring fashion agenda. Speaking of, let’s move on to number 3.
3. Spring fashion?
Fashion is a bit of a stretch when talking about spring wardrobe. Walking down the same sidewalk, you’ll see a girl bundled up with Uggs while another girl passes by wearing Birks. Does this make any sense? No. No, it does not.
Spring fashion is impossible to plan ahead of time because it’s usually too cold for the cute spring dresses; the second it’s warm enough to wear them, though, you’ll likely accidentally wear your parka and boots instead.
4. Bees.
Nobody invited the bees back to the picnic. Deep down we love them and everything they do for the environment, but on the surface, bees are bad and want to sting us all. Bumble bees look so fun and cute, but all that they’re concerned with is taking over every cute spring picnic they can see. It isn’t just bees, either, but also mosquitos and spiders. They come crawling back after their long dormant winter and are immediately out to get us! Not a fan.
5. Slush—slush everywhere.
Nothing sums up the disgusting aftermath of a long Minnesota winter better than gray, mushy slush. It’s everywhere you look: in piles a foot high, in your shoes, and even in your house. SO MUCH SLUSH.
6. The ever dreaded beach bod.
Maybe I shouldn’t have spent my entire winter indoors avoiding exercise and the sun and sipping on hot cocoa for the aesthetic. But (like many others) I did, and now I somehow need to be ready to wear shorts and tank tops, and force myself to go to the gym… *sigh*
7. Speaking of beach bod: spring break.
You’re either a) frantically trying to get in shape, tanned, and shop for over-priced swimsuits, or b) preparing to work for an entire week straight (so no break at all). Spring break can (probably) be fun, but from my experience, spring break calls for being home alone because my parents work and my friends from my hometown are still in school, and I’m the cliche poor college student who can’t really go on any kind of vacation.
Whoop-dee-doo! Spring break 2k19 here I come!
8. Spring cleaning.
Yuck, yuck, yuck! Does anybody even like spring cleaning or is it just a Minnesota ritual that we’ve all gotten brainwashed into participating? Next time we’re spring cleaning, we should just dust spring under the rug altogether and forget about it. That’s all I have to say.
9. Allergies.
Even the people who don’t think they have allergies end up sneezing and sniffling all spring long. With the snow melting and the plants trying their hardest to burst through the thawing ground, everything comes together for the perfect recipe for disaster.
10. It just isn’t summer.
We Minnesotans have been waiting all winter long for the beloved season of summer. We waited through the snow, the negative temps (or, in the case of this year, the polar vortices), the ice—you name it. Now please, for the love of all things good, bring us SUMMER already. Bye bye, spring, it was (not) fun having you.
Hopefully I have successfully given some insight to those who claim spring is the best season of all. But if not, I guess we can agree to disagree!