For me, the holiday season is usually a really happy time. Watching the snowfall while drinking hot chocolate, driving through town and seeing all the lights, eating my grandma’s kumla, visiting family, and having a much needed break from school. Aside from some recent familial issues and tensions, I still look forward to the holidays. However, it’s not like that for everyone.
In our (and other) culture(s), food is a large part of celebration. Thanksgiving dinner, those Christmas desserts, lots of fried food for Hanukkah, and Karamu feast for Kwanzaa. For those who live with eating disorders, the holidays can easily turn into a living hell. When presented with a large table of food and a barrage of “why aren’t you eating?’’ or “you took awhile in the bathroom,” it can be easy to revert back to old habits and fall into the comfort of your disorder. For me personally, holiday meal splurges can bring feelings of shame or low self-esteem because I become hyper-aware of my body and what it looks like with all that food in it. The holiday habits of huge portions and lots of calories can be overwhelming for anyone, but for those with eating disorders or those who use food as a coping mechanism, the hordes of food that surround us can be debilitating.
The other festive tradition that we see is spending time with family. Although I love spending time with my family, there are many people that dread it. Toxic family members can quickly turn your holidays sour with painful comments or even physical harm. The holidays can also be a painful reminder of a broken family, whether that means divorces, death, disownment, or other hurtful situations. On social media, advertisement, TV, or movies, there are hundreds of depictions of happy, middle to upper class families that set an expectation for the holidays that isn’t always accurate. This holiday season, whatever you celebrate, I urge you to be sensitive to those who seem like they don’t share the holiday cheer because it may be for good reason. That doesn’t mean not sharing photos or enjoying food; try to share your spirit with others by donating to food shelves or eating disorder recovery organizations, invite your friend over for dinner if you know they don’t have loved ones to be with, or simply offer a shoulder to cry on to those who need it.
To anyone struggling around this time of year, for whatever reason, it’s okay. You are loved and appreciated. Please everyone, have a safe and healthy holiday season.
Here are three websites that serve as resources: one for people struggling with an eating disorder, one for how to cope with toxic family members, and one that serves as general tips on how to cope with holiday stress.