If you are anything like me, you may struggle with letting others down. This often results in putting yourself in uncomfortable situations to make others happy. This could involve helping out a friend when you have an assignment due, going somewhere you don’t want to because your friend wants you to, or even letting little things that bother you slide to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. If this resonates with you, I understand your struggle. I have been working on putting myself first and recognizing that my feelings matter. I used to consider myself a people pleaser, thinking I was just being a good friend. In reality, I was prioritizing others’ happiness over my own, which is not only unhealthy but unsustainable.
Putting yourself first can mean different things to different people. For me, it means doing what’s best for me, even if it upsets others. Many times, my friends have wanted me to go out with them when I preferred to stay in. Instead of respecting my own wishes, I went out to make them happy. I didn’t realize how often I was sacrificing my needs for others’. Choosing yourself is not selfish; it’s responsible and crucial for your mental health and well-being. Once you start choosing yourself, you will notice that the world begins to value you more.
Over the past year, I have frequently found myself in uncomfortable situations because I couldn’t say no and would keep silent when people around me behaved in ways that bothered me. I believed my happiness depended on others’ opinions of me and their treatment. However, I’ve come to realize that the only opinions about me that matter are my own.
It is my responsibility to create my own happiness. This is achieved through self-love, enjoying my own company, speaking my truth, and recognizing my worth. Once I began practicing these behaviors, maintaining social relationships no longer felt burdensome. I stopped holding myself accountable for others’ actions and how they treated me. You must love yourself first to truly feel love from others.
Finally, a significant challenge I face is comparing myself to others. One of my greatest weaknesses is feeling that my life is off track because it doesn’t resemble someone else’s. Everyone’s life journey is unique, and just because things aren’t perfect now doesn’t mean they won’t improve. Good things come to those who wait and work for what they want. To live the life you desire, you must prioritize your own needs first.