It’s funny how much easier it is to analyze the love lives of others, to see what’s wrong and to know what needs to be changed for other people than it is to fix your own love life. Right now, out of a household of five girls, I’m the only single roommate. So, I hear all the gossip and I live vicariously through their make-ups, breakups and magical romantic moments.
But, I’ve also noticed patterns within the relationships of my friends, or more specifically, patterns about the types of guys they enter these relationships with. Here are the types of boyfriends your friends will have in university:
1. The Soundcloud Wannabe
I can think of at least three guys off the top of my head who my friends have introduced me to that have dreams of becoming music producers or rappers. And good on them for having dreams and passions, but PLEASE don’t make me listen to their “art” for prolonged periods. I get it, this is your man who you love and must support, but he is not my man and listening to generic beats gets really old after a while.
2. The Nice Guy
This boyfriend is sneaky; he is unfailingly polite, respectful and also the worst. This is the boyfriend that seems perfect on paper, and maybe even in person at first, but then he is going to be the one that leaves your friend in a full state of devastation after the relationship ends. Maybe the heartbreak is worse because it’s easier to get over an asshole, but your friend is going to need a heavy-duty dosage of ice cream when her relationship with a nice guy ends.
3. The Child
Sometimes, when your 20-year-old friend introduces you to her new boyfriend, you end up meeting an 11-year-old boy who is obsessed with Mario Kart. Just kidding, he is at least physically in the body of a consenting adult. But, mentally … there are some strong little boy vibes. This is the boyfriend who will plop himself down on your couch and play video games for six hours and will also make a face if you suggest that they eat some broccoli. Now, the child is usually kind and sweet, which is endearing, but be prepared because they’re also incapable of handling conflict maturely.
4. The Stoner
At some point, your friends will begin dating someone who has only one clearly defined interest: smoking pot. You will never see them without a mind-altering substance in their system, so it’s difficult to know what you’d think of them sober. Primarily, you will be amazed at how much food someone who is “permafried” can go through.
5. The Yeller
There is a remarkably short interval of time between meeting your friend’s new boyfriend, the yeller, and determining that they should be an ex-boyfriend. Now, the yeller doesn’t need to yell though; they can be sub-tweeters, angry texters or maybe they go for a petty Snapchat story. Essentially, the yeller is someone who takes being honest in their emotions to a level of excess; they share their frustration in a manner that is inappropriate, and share it with an audience.
If you’re a university-aged woman, I’m sure you are familiar with at least one of these types of boyfriends!