I have high standards; for myself, for my potential suitors, and for my friends. What I mean by this is not necessarily shallow. I have high expectations for my personal success, as an academic, as a partner, as a friend, and as a family member. I have high expectations for potential partners; that they will check off all of the boxes on my list, be as dedicated to the success of a relationship as I am, and understand the things about me that are hard to understand. For friends, I expect that they will want the best for themselves, and that they will contribute equally to our friendship. It’s hard having high expectations for everyone in my life, and I’ve learned a lot as someone who has such high expectations.
1. Not everyone values the same this as I do
This seems obvious, and yet it’s hard to consider that what I believe is important in a relationship, may not be to someone else. Just because I want the best for people in my life, it doesn’t mean what I believe is best is what they necessarily believe is best.
2. There’s always room for personal improvement….and failure
With high expectations of the people around me comes extremely high expectations for myself. There is no such thing as doing well enough, and while we all know there is always room for improvement, there is an even bigger gap for someone who expects so much of themselves. It isn’t a matter of “look how well I did,” but, “look where I could have done better.” While sometimes slightly detrimental, people like myself, with high expectations, are always striving to be better for ourselves.
3. People won’t always do the same for you as you would do for them
It isn’t wrong to expect that people will do the same for you as you would for them. It’s okay to expect exactly what you’re putting into a relationship, in return. This, however, isn’t always the case. People with high expectations are frequently disappointed by what we view as a lack of effort, or a shortfall in the other person’s commitment to the relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s with friends, partners, or family members.
4. Disappointment is inevitable
When you have high expectations for the people around you, it’s hard to see them not living up to those expectation. While in your eyes they may be falling short, in their own, they may feel as though they are doing just fine.
5. It’s not selfish to expect to be treated well
High standards come with high expectations. People with high expectations appreciate the people in their lives who value them. I always say the only friends I keep are best friends. There is nothing wrong with expecting to be treated well, so long as that is something you are offering as well.
6. You come to appreciate the people who are in your life more
Whether it’s your best friend, a family member, or your partner, as someone with high expectations, it means more when you can see the effort others are putting into your relationships. I myself have become aware that, while things may not turn out exactly as I had hoped, the people who are in my life are there for a reason; that reason is that they care, and want to be the friend to me that I hope I am to them.
There is a two-way street when it comes to having high expectations. Many people feel they put more into everything than they get out of it. This may be due to looming disappointment when things or people fall short of those expectations, but it isn’t always a negative thing. People with high expectations are always looking to better themselves, and work hard for what they want. They are also dedicated to the relationships they are in.
The important thing to remember is that everyone views the world different from you. Along with this, those people are going to view achievement, effort, and success in different lights.