Sometimes life gets busy, and we don’t have time to stop and reflect on things- but it is essential- maybe I feel this way because I went through a heartbreaking experience this summer- who am I kidding- I went through one during one of the most stressful times of the year; exam season, or maybe it was because I learned a lot after finally having toxic roommates leave the apartment or perhaps it was a countless amount of things. No matter what the event happened this summer, it led me to the most eye-opening experience that led me here, where I am doing better each day.
First and foremost- I went through such a gut-wrenching experience during an already stressful time, exam season, and now I won’t lie to you all, it was something alright- but everyone goes through a breakup at some point in their life, and that’s okay! See, it was an experience losing someone that you once valued so much, but it also taught me a lot. Relationships are a complicated thing with this generation because no matter how hard you try and do everything for someone- sometimes that love or whatever that feeling is- is not enough and while that is a totally upsetting feeling- it shows that solid feelings can actually exist between people. It’s important to know that it’s okay if important people in your life leave. Why? Because life is not perfect for you or me, which is okay. The few key takeaways I learned from that experience- is that one day, you may feel everything, but you will feel better when you see your worth and see what you bring to the table. You must be honest with yourself. Did you do the absolute most you could to keep it? Yes or no? But follow up, did you lose yourself in the process of trying to save someone who already was fleeing the scene? See- I got you, didn’t I? Never- and I say never- think you are not a valuable gem- if you gave everything you could no matter what- then you are a high-value person and anyone who can’t see that- or who can’t fight for you knowing you are- don’t deserve you. Something that can be applied to not just relationships but friendships is that you are not your parents or best friends- you are your own person- with your own brain, agenda, and feelings, so why do we let people who don’t know much about us, or parts of our personal lives, relationships behind closed doors, etc., have the most to say? See- that’s something that still boggles this blonde brain and maybe I’ll never understand it- and I try to see all angles in most situations to formulate my conclusions but hey- life is sometimes a mystery. As I have said to many, many people in my past life, never settle for what you think you deserve- that doesn’t mean raise your bar as high as Mount Everest but that just means- don’t let anyone depreciate your value. Wow! Almost as if this is like an accounting lesson- kidding- but just because someone leaves you- after you walk through a fire burning hell for them- does not mean there is something wrong with you; it just means they aren’t mature enough to see your value. Have you ever heard the grass is greener on the other side? Maybe it is- in a magical fantasy land that I once saw in a Barbie movie when I was 8, but if you want the grass to be green, you just have to be willing to water it- meaning you must fight for it- if it’s good for you. Something that I really want you to take home in your heart is that it is okay. It is okay to be upset and feel everything. It is okay to move on after realizing your worth; it is okay if you start out being a mess of emotions, and it is okay; the important thing is to find yourself and peace at the end finally.
Regarding your inner peace- I finally found some after getting out of some stupid twenty-year-old girl drama I somehow became involved in. Throughout all the hardship that put my emotions and mental health in a downward spiral, I finally see my worth. Now, don’t get me wrong- the past year was a rollercoaster of emotions, but I finally learned that the people who don’t care about you- should never have that hold over you. People will show you a little bit of them, but after a while, their true colours come out. I will be honest here and say that listen- I am truthfully not someone who feels confident enough to stand up for myself all the time- but these days- I will never let anyone- especially people who cannot try and at least be empathetic – ever dull my sparkle and ruin my inner peace. At the end of the day- I know who I am, and I know what I go through and as soon as anyone who doesn’t care about me tries to destroy that- I will walk away. They do not deserve to be in your life. Everyone goes through a battle of some sort- so why not be supportive and a nice human being to others? It is, truthfully, not that hard.
At the end of the day, your inner peace is worth more than anything. The older I get, the more I realize that the added extra stress and drama are not worth it. If someone is going to act like a child- treat them that way or do not even engage in such events. If you are happy- and someone is trying everything to ruin that- then ignore them. Life is hard for most of us out there- all we ever want is someone to see us trying and have them not interrupt our peace. No matter what event you get thrown your way- make sure you take some time to reflect and really try to understand it and grow from it- the more you do everything to push your emotions away and avoid them- the more of a problem it will be later on in life. I am so aware that feelings and emotions are a scary place, but hey- you can do it; I believe in you! See, what knowledge can do to us? Knowledge is beautiful and so is the person who is absorbing it. Keep up the hard work!