Thank u, next: Learning to Love Your Past Relationships

When it comes to break ups, there are a variety of emotions that you can experience. While a fine line lies between sadness and anger, it is easy to get caught up in a negative train of thought. If you begin to feel this negativity come about, try to remember this:

The most important thing that anyone can take away from a relationship are the lessons learned within the experience. Whether you made a mistake, you were played or you had a difficult but mutual understanding, the thing that will keep you motivated for the future is by focusing on all of the positive things that your former significant other has taught you. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If someone is not meant to be in your life, it unfortunately does not matter how much you love them. Sometimes the person you want is not the person you need. As difficult as it can be to accept, whether it be forgiving yourself or forgiving the other, it is important to do both in order to relieve your soul.

What? Forgive your ex?

I know right? I sound crazy. Maybe you don’t want to interact with your past partner, nor do you wish to admit that you have what you feel to be a “weakness,” or want to give “an apology.” Apologizing does not have to be communicated and it is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength that comes within you personally. If you can find it within your heart and soul, every ounce of you, to forgive that person and situation — or even forgive yourself for what has happened — then you will be able to move on in a positive manner and feeling happier and lighter in energy.

When I think back to my past relationships, I smile. Sometimes I cringe … I am only human!

 But for the most part I am happy looking back on how that person once made me feel, then I translate that previous happiness to my current state of remembering all that the person taught me. I have had exes that made me feel every emotion in the book however there is not a single one that I regret. For example, in my most recent heartbreak, we had grown our relationship through a time of change and confusion and we shared some of the best memories together. We eventually grew apart and decided focusing on ourselves as individuals was the most beneficial thing to do but it was easy to feel sad over the situation. By channeling positive energy and translating the love that I once gave to him, onto myself, I have never been happier.

At first, I thought it would be impossible to remain positive. Instead, I trained my mind, failed a thousand times and pushed through until I only focused on the positive aspects of the relationship. The lessons that he once taught me, I use in every aspect of my life and it is crucial for you to do the same. It will be difficult and it will take a lot of strength and time, but in the end you will feel better about the previous situation and embrace only light and happiness into your life.

Finally, that person was in your life for a reason. That person once made you smile and made you happy. Those memories are something that you should continue to look at and smile. Not with sadness because it is over but with happiness because it happened. As cliche as it sounds, it becomes easy to distance yourself from those memories, but why? As we do not wish to feel pain about losing a relationship that was once very meaningful to you in your life, why not focus on the things that made you happy? I know, it is hard. It will be hard, but by looking at the memories and reminding yourself on the good times, you will free that negative energy surrounding you by focusing on the worst times of your relationship.

Letting go of the past can be difficult. Focus on what you deserve and what will benefit you. Do things for others and stay uplifted by spreading that energy to those around you. Be excited for the rest of your life and the great people still left to come into it. Do not give up on love and do not shut people out. Embrace those that are around you and will come into your life and remember to not fear the hurt that may come out of any relationship, whether it be a friend or lover. Be excited for everything that you will learn, let life take its course and stay positive along the ride. And to my past relationships: thank you.