Starting university is an experience that many people look forward to. However, a lot of people don’t realize that it is also a major change. Things get very real very fast in university and there isn’t much you can do to stop this from happening. Going from high school to university is a big change and there are lots of things that don’t stay the same. I remember being in grade 12 with my friends and thinking about how exciting university was going to be. Don’t get my words twisted, I have thoroughly enjoyed the last (almost) four years that I’ve been at Laurier and it has definitely been one of the best experiences of my life so far. I have met some of my closest friends at Laurier and if I hadn’t gone to Laurier, then I would’ve never met my boyfriend. All of that being said, one of the biggest realizations I’ve ever had came to me during my first year at Laurier. I really wish someone would have let me know sooner that the people you have as friends in high school are not necessarily your forever friends.
High school seems like a drag at the time, but looking back, it was a fun time, so long as you steered clear of all the drama of course. I had a fairly large group of friends in high school that I spent almost every day with. I also had a boyfriend that I had been with for about four years when I graduated in 2016, so basically for all of high school. When I graduated high school, and before I started attending Laurier, I thought that these were the people that were going to be with me for the next four years of my life at least and hopefully long past that. I didn’t think that there would ever be a point in my life where we didn’t talk; we were all so close. Well, let’s just say that I came to a very rude awakening at the end of my first year at Laurier. I think one thing that people have to realize, and that I wished I would have realized, is that it’s okay for people to come in and out of your life. It is not the end of the world even if it seems like it is at the time. The people that you were friends with four years ago were in your life for a reason at that specific time. Who is to say that in another four years, your friend group won’t be completely different again? What’s important to realize is that this is okay. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons and sometimes good friendships just fizzle out. Nothing went wrong within them, nobody hurt the other person, no one was toxic, it just simply fizzled out and you grew apart. This is what tends to happen when you move from high school to university. People go to different schools and start realizing that they like different things. It’s completely normal and it’s important to realize that it’s okay when it happens.
I just wish someone had sat me down before I started university and told me that not all of the people that I was friends with then would still be in my life a few years down the road. I wish someone would’ve told me that friends come in and out of your life for different reasons and that’s okay. I wish someone would’ve told me that my four-year relationship at the time of graduation (but six years in total) might end as well and that this too would be okay. It’s important to realize that it is okay to move on from these high school relationships. You’re allowed to move on and you’re allowed to be friends with new people who share your newly found interests. You can of course try to remain friends and most people do try and do this.
Sometimes shit happens though and life gets in the way, but it’s not the end of the world. Just because you’re no longer friends with the people you once were close with, doesn’t make you a bad person and it doesn’t make them a bad person either. Hell, it doesn’t even mean that the friendship was bad. It just means that it fizzled out and you went your separate ways, and you know what? You’re both probably better for it.
The people that you’re friends with in high school probably aren’t going to be the people that you’re friends with in the long run and that’s okay. As the saying goes, we have three types of friends in life. Friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime. Not everyone is with you for the long haul and I wish I would have realized this before starting at Laurier with the hope that everyone would be.