Sometimes you fail. Be it a project or a midterm, a lower mark than you expected, or an actual, honest to god below fifty – our definitions for failure all differ greatly, but they all suck. Maybe you gave it your all or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you just didn’t know where you went wrong. We all experience failure and accepting that is the first step to overcoming it.
So, you failed.
That sucks. I’ve been there, we all have. Maybe you flunked your most recent midterm or scored low on a project you thought you aced. Regardless, something went wrong. You might know what you need to do to get better or you might not. That’s okay.
Failing is okay and it happens to the best of us. Whether you feel like your world is collapsing around you or you’re struck with apathy, your feelings are valid. You can be upset, you can be indifferent, you can feel however you feel because your reactions are your reactions and nobody can tell you otherwise. Let yourself feel. Recognize your own emotions and where they come from. Before you can move on with life, you have to accept how you feel.
Take that feeling, see it for what it is and let it go.
Angry? That’s fair, you have every right to be. Whether you’re angry with yourself or angry because you think the situation is unfair, accept your anger. It’s a valid reaction and it should be treated as such. Then ask yourself why anger was your reaction. Do you feel like you could have done more and are you angry because you didn’t? Are you angry because you don’t think you were provided with the materials necessary to succeed?
Figuring out why you feel a certain way will help you to understand how you can avoid similar outcomes.
Identify which reasons are excuses and which aren’t.
If you blame your failure on a lack of resources provided, you have to make sure you used everything available to you. Did you make use of your textbook, course notes, peers and supplementary materials? If you didn’t, you have to take responsibility for that.
If you blame your failure on being ill, was your illness affecting your work or is it simply a scapegoat?
Be honest with yourself. There’s no saving face. If you failed because you didn’t put in the proper effort and simply made up excuses, you have to be truthful about it. We often fall into the habit of assigning blame to everyone but ourselves, making it so we never have to take responsibility for our actions and thus can’t be responsible for the consequences. It’s time to put on your big girl pants and face reality.
But maybe the stars just didn’t align. Maybe you gave it your all and still failed.
It’s discouraging. You put in all this effort and have nothing to show for it.
Whatever the reason is, you failed and now you have to build yourself back up.
So how do you do that?
Book an appointment with an academic advisor.
They can help you develop a plan to ensure you succeed in future endeavours. Their job is to advise you and they’re good at it. Take advantage of this resource.
Get a tutor.
If you can afford to. Not everyone can, which leads me to my next point.
Go to guided homework sessions and office hours.
You can get clarification on concepts during this time, as well as checking your work to make sure you aren’t reinforcing the wrong concepts.
Talk to a counselor.
Laurier is known for having amazing mental health support, and short-term counselling is helpful when you’re worried about passing. Taking time to sort everything out will get your head on straight and help prevent you from getting overwhelmed.
Failure sucks. There’s not much else to say. That doesn’t mean you can’t come back from it. As you live life, you are going to fail. It’s inevitable, so you have to recover from it. Your fate is in your own hands.
Chin up, darling. This too shall pass.