Imposter. Syndrome. Two miserable little words that most people are unfortunately well-acquainted with. And if the words aren’t ringing a bell, you might also know it as that crushing weight on your shoulders that intensifies with every goal you meet or any accomplishment you do. That nasty little voice that whispers about what a fraud you are and how you don’t deserve anything good that happens to you. That voice that seriously needs to go to hell.
If there was a dollar earned every time someone discredited themselves or felt like they were living like a fraudster, there’d probably be enough money to invest in a better worldwide wellness system to help out everyone. Sad reality check: this isn’t the case. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t little things you can do or reflect on to cope with Imposter Syndrome one step at a time.
1. Why do you feel this way?
Society has created an unhealthy norm where anything more than modesty is considered annoying and prideful. However, different people might also have additional contributors as to why they personally experience Imposter Syndrome. Take some time to analyze yourself to understand why someone as inspiring and incredible as you feels this way. Some people might be scared that accepting their own accomplishments is a sign of arrogance, and that the only way to compensate for that is by undermining themselves. For others, it might result from a pre-existing insecurity they haven’t addressed yet. It could even stem from a fear of not being liked by others.
The truth is that all of these are valid reasons. Reflecting on your underlying reasons might not be how you pictured spending Friday night, but getting to the root of the issue brings you one step closer to figuring out how to feel more confident in yourself, which is so worth the sacrifice.
2. What do you love about yourself?
The sad reality of life is that it’s really easy to point out what you hate about yourself. This becomes a heartbreaking cycle where those negative thoughts continue to grow and manifest, until you forget about how flaws help you appreciate what makes you unique and beautiful.
Write a list of things you love about yourself on a sticky note and put it on the mirror so that it’s the first thing you see when you look at yourself. Have you ever noticed that it’s ridiculously easy to point out what people don’t like about themselves? This is because it’s something people subconsciously practice. If you start to practice positive habits, such as reminding yourself daily about why you are so special, confidence and self-love will come just as naturally. Then, when you can be confident in yourself, you can also feel confident and deserving of your achievements.
3. What does this look like from another POV?
Here’s some facts to put this all into perspective. A lot of the doubts that you internalize are nothing more than magnifications of something super small that barely exists. How you view yourself compared to how the people who love you view you are completely different. There are people out there that genuinely see you as an inspiration and see you for the authentic person you are. While it’s natural instinct to immediately assume they see a successful version of yourself that doesn’t truly exist, maybe you need to ask yourself “What if I’m the only one who isn’t acknowledging the successful version of myself?”
While you shouldn’t try to depend on gratification from other people, sometimes having someone, such as a close friend or partner, tell you their perspective can provide you with an new viewpoint. Maybe you feel like you’re not qualified enough for that new dream job that you’re starting, but they might counter that with the fact that hiring managers are picky and would only choose you if they felt like you had what it takes to be successful. After all, butterflies can never see how colourful their own wings are but the world around them can.
4. How will you rewrite your narrative?
Negative thoughts are a product of bad habits you practice, as mentioned before. But it also stems from focusing on the wrong thing. Now that you’re equipped with the ultimate survival guide to building confidence, you need to rewrite your narrative. When you focus on what you think you’re not, you are also subconsciously self-sabotaging your chances at becoming what you could be. Switch your focus to planning your next move instead. Where do you want to go from here? Do you have any career aspirations or bucket list goals you’ve been dying to try out? Now’s the time to go for it!
When you realize that your own false perception of yourself is what’s holding you back from reaching even more success, you can let go of that and become the best version of yourself. The possibilities really are endless, and no one said that the journey would be easy. Even so, someone as strong, persistent and intelligent as you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.