I Started Watching The Bachelor for the First Time and These are my Thoughts

Reality television is a guilty pleasure that most agree is worth indulging on occasion. Although I myself am not overly versed in the genre, I have dabbled with The Amazing Race, RuPaul’s Drag Race and America’s Next Top Model. Did I mention that I basically grew up on American Idol? There is something captivating about drama, tension and competition: it’s exciting. 

However, The Bachelor has just never landed on my radar. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart so I knew a part of me was going to love the cheesiness … but I was hesitant about the awkward moments that would make me cringe. But, nevertheless, my friends convinced me to give it a try, so I really couldn’t say no. 

Season 23 of The Bachelor will follow former NFL-player Colton Underwood in his quest for love. As a former contestant on The Bachelorette, he is a well-liked individual within the Bachelor Nation fan base. Colton also has a philanthropic heart, starting the Colton Underwood Legacy Foundation to support people living with Cystic Fibrosis (CF). The foundation’s creation was inspired by Colton’s six-year-old cousin, Harper.  

My general understanding of The Bachelor is this: Colton chooses individual women from the initial pool of 30 contestants to go on dates with him. The women also compete in small challenges, hoping to encourage Colton to give them a rose (not gonna lie, this reminds me of princesses vying for the knight in shining armour). Contestants can try to sabotage each other, there’s drama between feuding contestants and, if Colton simply doesn’t like a contestant, he can send them home. The stakes are higher than I had anticipated. 

I decided to give The Bachelor a try by watching the first couple of episodes. I really wanted to get a feel for the series prior to deciding if I would watch it to the end. Here are my initial thoughts.

Episode 1

Everyone keeps talking about Bri, the girl who faked an Australian accent. But can we please take a second to talk about Alex D.?! Alex D.’s occupation is listed as “Sloth.” No shade or disrespect girl, but I have questions. What exactly entails one becoming a “sloth” and how does one gain this title? When I examine my own personal life habits, I think I’m a keen shoo-in for the role. Also — this is a shtick, right?!

Ok, so Colton is a virgin; NBD, right? I’m getting kind of tired of this being the main point of focus for his character. Yes, vulnerability and honesty are great traits for building healthy relationships but I think it’s unnecessary to highlight it so much (I also feel if the gender roles were reversed here there would be some contention here …). But I get it: after 23 seasons, the show needs each bachelor to have a moniker to make them stand out. So for season 23, “Colton the Virgin” it is. 
The infamous rose! I love flowers. In all seriousness though, how much do those weekly bouquets cost? That stuff is expensive. I wanna see some receipts. 

Episode 2

The amount of alcohol everyone drinks is insane. I mean, they make university parties pale in comparison. How is everyone not always hungover? 
I love a good ole fashioned snogging session as much as the next person; but seriously, how is everyone not sick?! So. Many. Germs. Everywhere. 

The “summer camp” date was unique and interesting. I think it is nice that they have the women attempt to bond before tearing each other apart. The only thing I didn’t like about this date? This guy: 
I’m not completely sure if I like Demi, but dang, you gotta give the girl credit for being committed! #Inittowinit 
Episode 3

Colton’s date to the amusement park with all those children was such a sweet idea! Elyse seemed to really enjoy it too. I like them together!

Am I the only one that doesn’t understand the “drama” between the two beauty pageant contestants, Hannah B. and Caelynn? The only explanation they’re giving right now is by just repeating the same catty statements about one another! I need proof! I need an explanation! I need clarity now! Also, I am fully aware that Colton will not send either of them home. Most definitely the producers are keeping both of them: there is too much reality TV gold to mine. On another note, this part was bizarre, yet weirdly impressive??? I mean, Hannah B.’s lung capacity surely has Beyoncé quaking, right? 

Oh, Hannah B. honey, “befumbled” is not a word. I believe the word you were looking for was “befuddled.” Still cute though! If this happens again, Merriam-Webster will have to include it in its edition next year. 

My Final Thoughts

Me, examining my non-existent relationship status like:

Although I wouldn’t consider myself a die-hard fan yet, you can consider me hooked. I wonder what next week has in store?