Most coming-of-age movies show two best friends who go through everything in life together: going to the same elementary school and high school, their parents are best friends, experiencing every challenge together and they eventually end up at the same university. As someone who’s had the same best friend since I was six, I too was excited to continue to experience everything with her. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
We were interested in different things and her dream program was only offered in a city seven hours away from me. Obviously, our long-distance situation isn’t the worst case to be heard of. I could take a train to see her for a weekend and she could do the same to visit me. However, her program, extracurricular and awesome soon-to-be job takes up so much of her time that she may as well be living in a different country. Of course, I’m proud of her and all she’s doing, but as her best friend I still worry about where our friendship will end up if we never have time for each other.
Now before I continue, we have talked about this and we understand that school and our social lives at school are very important. We can’t do everything together because the truth is, that’s not realistic any more. What we can do is work on building our friendship in the moments we do spend together. Here are a few tips on how we do just that.
Facetime
We try and facetime at least once a week for both long and short conversations. We both prefer this method of communicating as it’s the most like seeing each other in person. It’s much more fun than talking on the phone and more often than not we end up using it as a way to study. It’s also just nice to see her face after a few days of only talking over the phone. You don’t realize how much you miss someone until you only have one day a week to see them!
Zoom Movies
This is something my bestie and I started doing last year and we have found it to be a really fun way to have a movie night while apart from each other. We use Zoom because it buffers a little less and we can watch the movie together while still seeing each other’s faces. It’s a nice way for us to have a chill evening after a stressful day. Sometimes, all you need is your best friend’s company.
Walking to Class Calls
These are usually quick chats that only last 10-20 minutes at most. It’s really just a way that we can catch each other up on what we are doing for the day and figure out whether we have time to talk later. It is also nice to hear each other’s voices, especially if we both have busy days ahead!
Honesty and Communication
These are one of the most important aspects of maintaining a healthy friendship, regardless of whether it’s long-distance. It’s so important to not only talk about things that are working in your friendship but also about things that aren’t. Hiding things and making up silly excuses aren’t going to keep a strong friendship.
Respect
This is another important part of maintaining our healthy friendship. Both my friend and I understand that we have lives, friendships, school and social lives away from each other. Therefore, we can’t always expect the other person to be available in every situation. We also understand that we might cancel plans with each other if something in our school social lives comes up.
At the end of the day, friendships will come and go but sometimes, you will meet a person that you know will be in your life forever. When that happens, it’s so important to make sure you are being respectful of their needs while voicing your own as well. You don’t need to experience everything together to call yourself best friends, you just need to make sure you are both putting in the effort to keep your relationship as strong as it is when you’re together!