The Guide to Eating When You Can’t Cook

People always look confused and slightly appalled when I tell them I can’t cook. I never learned how to cook, and it’s not a sad thing. I chose not to learn. Maybe that was a terrible decision and I’ll regret it later, but that’s a future problem. For now, I’m okay with my eating habits. I eat things that take little to no time to make, taste good and I can’t easily ruin it.

I don’t like cooking because it takes up my precious downtime. If I need a break from homework, I want to sit and relax. Cooking for an hour just never sounded appealing to me.

So, what do I eat?

Cereal

Prep time: 30 seconds. Pour cereal in the bowl then pour in the milk. (If you eat your cereal by pouring in milk first… you are a monster). Taste: delicious.

I ate cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner today. Mostly because I love cereal, but also because it’s so easy to make. Can you really blame me? Think of how good Frosted Flakes are!

Fresh Fruit & Veggies

Prep time: 20 seconds to rinse off the fruit. Taste: very good.

You can buy the fruit of your choice. I normally go for grapes, strawberries (sometimes with sugar), apples, cucumber (with hummus), bananas (sometimes with peanut butter) and oranges. Rinse off the fruit that needs to be cleaned, then eat it. It’s really that simple.

Sandwiches

Prep time: 1-5 minutes. Depending on the type of sandwich. Taste: Satisfactory.

If you want to feel like you tried to cook, then make a sandwich. It involves just a little more effort, but still very little. Get some bread and put stuff between the bread. Literally put whatever you want between the bread. Make a PBJ, or a banana and peanut butter sandwich, a bologna sandwich, etc.

Snacks

Prep time: less than 2 minutes. Taste: probably good.

Get some snacks, like a granola bar, or almonds or Goldfish crackers. Just random food items you can pull off your shelf and munch on.

Take Out

Prep Time: depends where you go. Taste: amazing.

Buy food. Fast food. Sit down restaurant. Doesn’t matter, they are all great.

So yes, I eat. Not necessarily healthy… or diverse. Maybe I should learn how to cook. My tip to all of you: learn how to cook. Use this list when you are feeling lazy. Don’t be like me, please learn. Or marry someone who can cook, that’s a good option too.