If you have boobs, then you’ll likely know how equally great and frustrating they can be. They can be confusing, painful, annoying and it’s important to understand as much as you can about them. If you have any questions about your boobies, then this is the breast article you’ll read all day.
1) Breasts come in all shapes and sizes
Boobs are wonderfully varied and different depending on the person who has them. Many aren’t even the exact same size, which is perfectly normal. They may sag, look uneven, and be unique to you, and that’s what matters. Most people don’t have pornstar knockers, and that isn’t anything to be ashamed of. As long as there aren’t any physical changes (lumps, bumps, etc.) that are worth noting, your boobs are completely fine and are worth more than comparing to anyone else’s.
2) Nipples are important
Let’s nip this in the bud. We can’t talk about boobs, without mentioning nipples. You know, the most scandalous part of the breast (at least according to the media)? Well, nipples are actually pretty great. To break it down simply, you have the nips and the areola, which is the coloured skin that’s around them. This area can vary in size and colour depending on the person. Some people have inverted nipples, and some people have large or small ones. As long as they aren’t changing from their normal appearance, they’re good to go and you have no need to worry about what they look like. Their main function is for a baby to latch onto if you ever started breastfeeding (you can actually notice the hole in the nip where the milk would come out if you look at them close enough). They can be extremely sensitive and some people actually experience orgasms from stimulating the nipples alone. So if they’re not too sensitive try not to ignore those titty caps next time you get frisky!
3) You can’t really increase your bust size
As much as this one may disappoint some people, you can’t really increase your bust size without getting your breasts surgically altered. They may fluctuate in size depending on weight gain/loss, hormonal changes, whether or not you’re taking birth control pills (this is tied to the previous point), but the fact remains that there is no ~magic~ way to make your boobs look like Pamela Anderson’s. Chest exercises may build up the pectoral muscles that sit behind your boobs, which may make them look perkier in appearance (though this has yet to actually be proven).
4) You should get a bra fitting
The fact remains that many women are wearing the wrong bra size. Why? Because they haven’t actually seen someone for a bra fitting and merely accepted the uncomfortable tit prison that their ill-fitting undergarments are providing them with. As pointless as this may seem, getting a bra fitting done can be necessary in finding the right size bra for proper comfort and support. Try bras on before you buy them if you can (I hate doing this myself, but it can be make or break it when it comes to these annoying necessities) and don’t buy it if you don’t like how it looks, and especially if you don’t like how it feels. No one likes uncomfortable underwire or tan bras that look like potato sacks. Comfort and design are key, my friends.
5) Your boobs are an indicator of many things
Are you approaching your period? Your boobs may start to feel tender and sore. Did you just have an intense workout? The muscles behind your breasts might be aching from all those pushups you did. Your boobs can indicate many different things going on in your body, so it’s important to keep an eye on them and the kind of aches and pains associated with your boobs for different reasons.
6) Don’t worry, that odd nipple hair is completely normal
As strange as this may seem, random nipple hairs that you may notice from time to time are more common than you’d think. These pesky sprouts are usually a result of hormonal changes that can occur during your twenties and thirties. We all have hair follicles there, so a hair cropping up every now and then is usually just a normal occurrence.
7) Make sure to check your boobies for any irregularities
Learn how to do a breast self-exam at least once a month. There are a ton of resources online to guide you through this, like this one: http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/breast-self-exam. Keeping track of your breast health is always important at any age, and it can be essential in noticing if there’s something wrong.
8) Know your tits and be one with your tattas
At the end of the day, you’re the one that will be most in tune with your body and your breasts. What may be normal for you, may not be for someone else. Know what they look like, how they feel to the touch, and if it’s typical for you to get any pain associated with them. This makes it easier to spot any irregularities and noticing changes that would be worthwhile to see your doctor about. Also, it’s always beneficial to be friends with your tits. They’re unavoidable sandbags that are with you wherever you go, so you might as well understand and embrace them.
9) Your boobies are resilient pieces of body equipment
Boobs can handle quite a lot. From puberty onwards, they go through quite a few changes that affect their ability to function and one day feed babies, if that’s what you want to use them for. Breastfeeding ain’t no joke, either. It can be challenging and pack quite a punch to your milk jugs when you’re attempting to keep a child fed as they go through all the hormonal changes associated with pregnancy. Breasts are badass, so make sure you treat them with the respect they deserve.
10) Make sure you’re wearing the right bra, depending on what you’re doing
Make sure you wear a sports bra when you’re working out that actually supports the movement of your boobs when you exercise. Breasts don’t have muscle, so the skin and ligaments that give them their shape and size can start to breakdown, causing sagging that can become irreversible once the damage has been done. Nursing bras can also be important, creations that I didn’t know actually existed. It makes sense, as they are more comfortable and feasible for mothers that are breastfeeding/pregnant. Basically, make sure you’re wearing the right bra for the activity that it was intended for.
11) De-stress those breasts
Your bosom is cooped up all day, restricted to the confines of your overpriced Victoria’s not-so Secret (probably uncomfortable) itchy lacey bra that the overly chipper sales girl pressured you into buying. Set them free when you get home. Go braless. Let those puppies breathe, baby.
12) Do your research before getting nipple piercings
Make sure this is something you actually want, and not just a spur of the moment decision. Body jewelry is awesome, if it’s something you’re investing in for the right reasons. People say that it hurts, but only briefly, depending on your pain tolerance. It’ll likely increase the overall sensitivity of your nips too, but it’s important that you a) get them done at a reputable establishment that uses hygienic tools, knows what they’re doing and isn’t some back alley, questionable piercing parlour you’d see someone from Sons of Anarchy walk into for kicks and b) you need to keep them as clean as possible to avoid any sort of infection. Keep hands and any questionable fluids away from them while they’re healing, which can take a total of 9-12 months. It would probably be best to avoid going braless in any mesh shirts while you’re at it too. If you take all of these precautions and can rock them like Rihanna, then all the power to you sister.
Healthy boobs are happy boobs. Embrace your titties ladies, and say a prayer for all of those countless crumbs that have been lost down your bras over the years.