Dear Friends, Stop Telling Me You’re Going to Find Me a Man

I’m single, and I don’t care. I don’t need a man to define me.

That may sound kind of harsh, or uncaring, but I’m tired of always being asked about boys. I appreciate when friends and family are concerned for me, and want me to be happy, but to me, happiness does not depend on being in a relationship.

For many people, university is a big dating pool, the opportunity to go a little crazy, fall in love, experience heartbreak, and endless walk of shames. While I’m all in support of that, it's not my main focus. More importantly, it shouldn’t be your main focus whether your friend is experiencing that or not. 

I’m sure most friends mean well when they say this to their friends, but unless they’ve told you they’re pining for a man, or they want you to set them up with the guy from your work, etc.… leave them alone! 

Don’t get me wrong, we all get lonely sometimes, and with the rising social media trend of seeing “goal” couples, it can make you feel a bit left out. But honestly, when I hear my friends complain about relationship problems I can’t help but feel relieved I don’t have to worry about that. Especially when you hear how silly a lot of the problems are. 

Personally, I just don’t have the time or energy to focus on someone else. I tend to live a hectic lifestyle of total procrastination and forced stress, and adding another person to have to focus on into the mix would probably cause me to combust. 

In high school, I’m embarrassed to admit, I was that girl who dropped everything for the guys in her life. I would put my boyfriends before my education or mental health. Nowadays, I’m much more “selfish.” I don’t want anyone getting in the way of these things. Maybe someone will stumble into my life that will make me happy to juggle the three equally, but for now, I’m content to focus on myself.

So shout out to all the single people who are going to have to fend off “What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?” questions. Enjoy your time alone girl!