9 Different Types of Drunk Girls at the Club

Let’s face it, the exciting part about turning nineteen is not being only one more year away from dropping the dreadful ‘teen’ suffix. It’s the fact that you are now legally allowed to go out and get smashed with your friends to make memories – even if you don’t always actually remember them. Below is a list of the most common types of drunk girl you meet on a night out, so check yourself, because chances are you have already wrecked yourself.

1. Welcome to the Jungle: The Wild One

She’s probably the one everyone wants to go out with. She’s a good time, she sometimes makes questionable decisions but she still manages to make them fun. She’s the one in the middle of the dance floor with a pitcher of beer in each hand and was definitely voted the most likely to jump out of a plane in high school.

2. So She Thinks She Can Dance: The Next Julianne Hough

A few shots later and she’s the next top dancer, according to her. No matter the music, you’ve definitely seen this girl on the dance floor getting her groove on like no one’s watching (even though she secretly – or not so secretly – wants to captivate an audience). Perhaps she already has and she’s bumping and grinding her way to oblivion!

3. Who Brought Mom?

Boys, watch out. Reckless decisions? She thinks not. Too much to drink? She’s already called the Uber. While she may not be the most fun to go out with, she’s definitely the one who gives the best hugs and cares a lot about her little squad of tipsy topsy drunk thangs.

4. The First Rule of Fight Club…: The Aggressive One

It doesn’t take much to get on her bad side. Maybe it’s because she’s had a bad day, or maybe it’s the whiskey, but watch out. This one has put on her mean face because of some alcoholic beverages and yes, even a look could set her off.


5. There’s Something in Her Eye: The Emotional One

She is definitely not beauty, or grace. Composure? She doesn’t know her. She has definitely started to bawl and rant to you about how much she loves you, or puppies, before and never in an appropriate setting. The club is not one big tissue, but this girl has just blown her nose everywhere and was too wasted to realize or care that there were witnesses.

6. Maybe She’s Born With it, Maybe It’s Tequila: The Provocative One

There is no limit to the amount of time she spent getting ready for the club. Everything is in its place – or a little out of place if her cleavage is anything to go by. She’s the one who always has a new drink in her hand, because she convinced some poor chap to buy it after batting her lashes. She’s a little unpredictable, and a whole lot forward. There is no telling where she will end up at the end of the night, and kudos to her for embracing her sexuality!

7. As Cool As a Cucumber: The Chill One

She likes to enjoy the view and only join the fun when she feels like it. Never one to let completely loose or do anything she’ll regret, she’s a bit more of a wallflower who likes to enjoy herself from the sidelines. But don’t let her composure fool you – she’s a great conversationalist and likes to be approached (most of the time).

8. Lost the Memo in the Mail: The Sober One

Maybe she thinks that she doesn’t need to drink to have fun, or maybe she just didn’t booze out enough. Unlike her friends, she’s not feeling the effects of the shots anymore and she’s probably had enough of all the shenanigans going on around her. But she’ll stick it out so her obliterated friends can have some fun.

9. There’s No Place like the Kitchen: The One Who Can’t Stop Thinking about Pizza

Alcohol seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that she’s drunk and at the club she can finally see what she really wants: a big box of greasy drunk food (preferably pizza). Her stomach is probably getting in the way of her fun and she’s already dropped a couple hints that she’d rather be chowing down than getting down.

It’s time to be honest with yourself. Who are you?