I may be only twenty years old, but my body has never failed to surprise me as I age and venture further into ‘becoming a woman’. Sometimes I’ll have an itch, and in the area that I go to scratch, there is – poof – another new mole or other questionable bump. It’s like diving right into a book without ever reading the back: you never know what you’re going to find. What you thought was going to be a romance, might turn out to be a horror.
And man, my body has scared me countless times.
It’s like in that scene (you know the one) that is in almost every horror movie. You know something bad is coming, you’re waiting, you’re stressing and then pow, it happens. And then there is a series of thoughts that run across your mind.
1. Couldn’t I have gotten a little heads up?
Listen up, people. Even though it is technically your property, your body isn’t exactly loyal – it’s sort of a traitor. It hardly ever does what you want it to do, and in the case of finding new additions, it usually doesn’t have the decency to warn you about the little changes it makes.
2. I would rather die. How do I remove this?
This definitely applies to finding stretch marks, or cellulite. Why the heck is it there? Why must you appear all because I showed a little weakness, caved and ate a damn cookie? It’s not fair.
3. Okay, it’s not … that bad.
I don’t know if I have just gotten used to it, or if I’m in denial, or if I just overreacted, but it’s not the worst thing that I could find. It’s definitely not a surprise moldy dish that I forgot in the back of my fridge for two weeks, or an old, worn sock in the bottom of my soccer bag. But it’s certainly there, and I’m going to have to make the best of it.
4. Hold up, could it be cancerous? Do I have a freaking tumor?
I once found a bump in my head that was getting bigger every day. I had everyone I knew touch it, rub it, look at it and it wasn’t until my mom slapped me upside the head that I found out that it was just another damn mole. See? Scary.
5. It’s actually kind of … cute.
If I look at it from a certain angle, it’s actually kind of visually appealing. That new mole on my shoulder, it kind of looks like it wants to be touched. And touching is … sexy, right?
6. Well I can’t do anything about it, so I’ll just have to live with it.
At least until I win the lottery and have access to all of the plastic surgery my heart desires.
7. And then you go ahead and forget about it and weeks later, it shocks you all over again.
My body is a temple. And a two-faced BITCH.
On a side note ladies and gents, try to remember that everyone’s body changes. Your weight might fluctuate over the years, you may develop stretch marks as your muscles or curves grow, you may find some cellulite and you will definitely find some new moles, skin tags, etc. as you grow up. But try and remember that it’s only life, and you just have to go with it.
Xoxo,
Your fellow hot-mess of a Golden Hawk