Hi, I’m Brittney, and I have commitment issues.
Well, not THOSE kinds of commitment issues — but the opposite. The issues where I’ve committed too much that I don’t exactly know how to stop. What is time? What is life?
For reference, while I write this article, I am thinking about how I have: (a) a deadline I need to make for this, (b) a lesson plan to finish, (c) a work shift tomorrow, (d) a club event to start planning and (e) one assignment and two applications that I haven’t even looked at.
And look, I KNOW I’m not alone in this. Are those shiny, fun clubs just calling for you to run them? Does that extra shift your friend needs taken feel like a moral duty? Or maybe it’s the second job you don’t actually neeeeeed, but wouldn’t it look GREAT on your resume? So will that volunteer work — obviously that’s a must too. Oh and let’s not forget about the extra credit assignment you took on last week, all while trying to keep on top of the homework you actually do need to finish. You know you’ll get it done — you’re just THAT PERSON.
But man, is it exhausting being that person.
It all starts with the word “yes”
There are just so many great things to try! You name it, we’ve probably agreed to it.
But then at some point you’re saying “yes” so much, it’s basically a disease.
Somewhere, deep down, you know you probably shouldn’t have said you’d run that event next week, but your friend just seemed so stressed you had to help out! You’ll just have to squeeze it in between the six other things you promised you’d help out with too.
People around you always seem to be in awe of how involved and on top of things you are.
“You’re the president of this, the events director for that, working two jobs AND your marks are still great? Amazing! Are you even human?”
Definitely not human. Humans value free time.
But those close to you know internally your brain just does a lot of this:
Your friends and family complain about how they never see you anymore.
But your life is so pencilled down to the minute, you have to physically schedule “being social” into your calendar.
Where do I have room for this????????
And when you do meet with them, all you can talk about is all the things you still need to get done.
When they ask, all kind and concerned, if you’ve been sleeping at all, you realize that sleep is pretty much a foreign concept right now.
I’ve been getting those full eight hours of sleep every … week. Maybe.
Actually, so is taking breaks; because whenever you try, you just end up staring into space stressing about everything you’re trying not to think about.
Because when your life is falling apart, what’s better than to sink so deeply into a black hole of Netflix reruns that you’re not even really paying attention to, but still you almost physically cannot get off the couch?
Oh and don’t even START on that whole idea of “free time.”
This has become so foreign that it may as well have never existed, TBH.
Sometimes, you start resenting those things you took on, even though you loved them at the start.
THERE’S NO TIME TO ENJOY THINGS, OKAY?
But finally, you somehow manage to convince yourself that you do, indeed, got this.
Pick yourself up and keep kicking ass!
…Until you say “yes” again.