“You’re Not Like The Other Girls”

This line comes across as a compliment, but is its underlying message putting a damper on girl power?

Recently I was told, “I’ll bet you aren’t like the other girls.” And blushingly, I agreed — smiling as though I had just received a genuine compliment. I didn’t think much of it at first until I started to wonder: why is it that we so badly want to be viewed as different from those around us?

Being called “unique” sounds appealing because we all want to feel like we have something original to bring to the table. But is it really so bad to be like “other girls” when those other girls are our sisters? Our mothers? Our friends?

When you start to think of it this way, your perception of what it means to be an individual starts to flip.

We all want to be different, but we’re forgetting that without the influence of others in our lives, the unique personalities we all aspire to have would be tiringly one dimensional.

Maybe you wouldn’t have become a hair style guru if your friend with the perfect beach waves hadn’t shown you how to French braid your wet hair after a swim. You might not have grown to love the smell of roses if you hadn’t spent your childhood sneaking your mom’s rose hand cream just to smell like her. You wouldn’t feel the need to hide your best clothes if you didn’t have a younger sister who might steal them from your closet. And that winged eyeliner you’ve perfected over the years wouldn’t be your signature look if you hadn’t fallen in love with Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

The point is, we are all copies of someone. We all have bits and pieces of ourselves that come from other people who we have looked up to and aspired to become. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s amazing.

While each and every one of us steal, tweak and mold different habits and passions into our lives, we are also radiating parts of ourselves that someone else will see, and feel compelled to show off in their own way as well.

So go on and rock a pixie cut because your favourite art teacher has one, take photos inspired by that popular Instagrammer, and record a guitar cover of ‘Blackbird’ even if it’s been done a million times on YouTube. Then, the next time someone tells you that you aren’t like the other girls, feel glad that they have acknowledged the unique light you bring to the world, but smile knowing it’s a light that shines brighter from all those around you who have and continue to influence your being.  

• advice
• be yourself
• feminism
• individualism
• self help