I’ve always been the kind of person that couldn’t wait to “grow up.” I imagined this definitive moment where I would step back and realize: This is it. I’m an adult now. I’d wake up to a 6:30 AM alarm. I’d go for a run around the block. I’d have a walk-in closet and a bed with a headboard.
I’d drink coffee (probably black). Lots of it. Constantly. When I wasn’t drinking coffee, I’d drink wine. Red. I’d invite my friends over for dinner parties and “ladies nights” and we’d gossip about the neighbours. I’d go to bed by 9:30 PM.
I’d watch the six o’clock news, listen to talk radio, and download audiobooks to my Kindle. I’d join a book club. I’d talk on the phone—maybe get one of those Bluetooth earphone things. I’d drive a reliable SUV.
I’d stop calling my parents when I didn’t know how to do something—I’d Google it instead. I’d make my own doctor’s appointments and maybe get glasses. I’d take up pilates. I’d open a savings account. I’d worry about upcoming bills. I’d never leave the house without a coat.
I’d stop saying “like” after every other word. I’d stop referring to people as “dude” or “bro.” I’d stop saying “yo.” I’d start using sayings like “as long as you live under this roof.” I’d end all my text messages with periods.
I had this idea in my mind of this perfect adult life, and I was going to master it. I was going to have my shit together.
But the biggest secret is this: nobody ever really feels like an adult. Maybe you’re 25+ years of age, have an RRSP, a nine-to-five job, and a frequent flyer card at your local grocery. Or maybe you’re just trying to take each day as it comes. The reality is, “adulting” is whatever you want it to be, and whether you’re still trying to get everything you can out of your “glory” days or you’re ready to settle down in the suburbs—you’re a grown ass woman and you can do whatever the f*ck you want.
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