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Things I’ve Heard HCWO CC Ariel Vaisbort Say

I’ve known Ariel for a short period of time, and I just cannot say I’ve met anybody like her. It’s about time somebody shares the best things our superstar campus correspondent says on a regular basis. Meet Ariel’s mouth:

1. “I would like to be excluded from this narrative.”

       Context: Because Ariel was in class.

2. “I had such a cute outfit planned but I feel so garbage that my bad Kermit is like ‘wear uggs and an ugly sweater.’”

       Context: Ariel is trying to make her way to a party.

3. “I’m a mind reader/witch.”

       Context: Unneeded, it’s true

4. “I need at least one stellar grade in my undergrad so…”

       Context: We have a class together (finally).

       Update: We are awful at this class/class in general/we are bad at university/it’s not looking great.

5. “I’m going this month without spending money on dumb sh*t and I’m gonna start going to yoga, so I better be skinny and rich in February.”

       Context: See here 

6. “Prada or nada mami.”

       Context: See above article.

7. “Did you mean me, a human trash can, lit on fire?”

       Context: Remember that class I told you about? This reflects the studying attitude we share.

8. “Crotchety crotch all you want.”

       Context: I asked if I could say crotch in an article.

9. “Article: 12 Reasons Why Soc of Law Makes Me Want to Lie Down.”

       Context: Our class is still not going well.

10. “Any dog is a dog u can steal if you believe in yourself.”

        Context: Ariel’s unhealthy dog obsession (love you dearly— but we do NOT steal dogs).

11. “I care more about dogs than like 99% of things.”

        Context: Sigh, see above.

12. “Fourth week of class and we haven’t been there at the same time.”

        Context: I bet you’re wondering if this is about Sociology of Law.

        Update: It sure is.

13. “I actually look glam af today.”

        Context: The birthday girl retired her uggs and ugly sweaters!

14. “The fact that I am out of bed before noon on this here national holiday.”

        Context: Note, the national holiday is Ariel’s birthday.

15. “You know I won’t be classy tonight.”

         Context: National holiday celebrations done right.

         Update: This quotation/national holiday was followed by an article about how Ariel is done drinking.  

16. “As you can tell, my f*cks are diminishing rapidly.”

         Context: See “Sociology of Law”

17. “My V Day plans are studying and taking a bath with expensive ass products and eating skittles in the bath.”

         Context: Unneeded, someone vote this woman as Prime Minister.

18. “I’m a sl*t for consumerism.”

         Context: Submitted by a friend of Ariel’s.

19. “Some people were raised by wolves I guess.”

         Context: Discussion of things boys say on Tinder. See here

 

Third year Criminology and Women's Studies student, avid Netflix enthusiast, food addict and competitive pole dancer.
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