From bubble baths to colouring books, self-care is all the rage right now, especially among university students. Here’s the thing though: I think these self-help blogs and mental health websites with self-care ideas are absolutely amazing, I really do. But whether I try putting on a face mask or try doing some yoga stretches, in reality, I avoid self-care because it just makes me feel guilty. Common thoughts that run through my head when engaging in self-care include: “I don’t have time for this,” “there are so many other things I could be doing,” and “how is this going to help me write my paper due in three days?” As a result, I often find that I abandon self-care entirely by not exercising enough, not sleeping enough, and not spending any time on any of the activities I love (such as watching TV shows and reading books). Unfortunately, the only time that I will really take care of myself is when I feel extremely burnt-out or run-down— an unhealthy and desperate attempt to make myself feel better before I start my terrible “all work, no play” cycle all over again. So, as the year comes to an end and finals are right around the corner, self-care is especially important for students in order to manage the stress and anxiety that comes with exam season. Here are five tips for anybody who needs rest and relaxation but who feels the same guilty emotions that I do when engaging in self-care.
1) Change your mindset
Changing your mindset is the absolute most important part of destroying the guilty emotions you feel regarding self-care. Rather than seeing self-care as a selfish thing that you don’t have time for or shouldn’t do, change your mindset to “yes, you work really hard and help others so you deserve some rest and relaxation.” Changing your mindset about self-care by reminding yourself that you are deserving of love and care can actually help alleviate feelings of guilt and stress. So go on, have a bubble bath or watch a movie—you deserve it!
2) Set aside time every day
As assignments, tests and other commitments pile up over the course of the semester, I always find that I put self-care on the back burner. I try to remind myself that despite all of the assignments and tasks that need to be completed, I need to find at least 20 minutes in my day to do self-care. Set a specific and non-negotiable time (it can be a few minutes when you first wake up or right before you go to bed), make sure you mark this hour in your planner or schedule and stick to it!
3) Unplug from technology
Okay let’s be honest—unplugging from technology is hard. I can barely go an hour without unlocking my phone and checking my Facebook and Instagram notifications. But challenge yourself at least three times a week to go an hour or more without your phone, laptop, or other electronic devices. Although they provide us with many things, overusing technology can cause more harm than good with regards to your mental and social wellness. According to Brent Seal, mental health consultant and Huffington Post writer, technology is negatively affecting our mental health and well-being because it can cause information overload, reliance and addiction, and extreme isolation in our everyday lives. I know it is hard, but challenge yourself to abandon technology for a while by turning off your social media notifications or even by turning off your phone entirely and instead try some self-care activities like catching up with friends or even reading a book.
4) Prioritize and delegate tasks
There are several tasks that need to be done on a daily basis. But do they all need to be done right now? Probably not. Unfortunately, in today’s society, I find that we are told that everything needs to be done right away and it is almost seen as shameful to ask for help from others. By delegating tasks to other people, you can focus on your priorities, which can help relieve overwhelming stress and exhaustion and give you more time to do self-care activities.
5) Do not be afraid to say “no”
Another one of my problems is that I have trouble saying “no” to people. Whether it is for club activities or social hangouts, I find that I say “yes” to everyone even if I feel stressed or burned out. If you ever have this problem, try being assertive as much as you can by saying “no” to commitments you are not interested in and only saying “yes” to activities that excite you and work with your schedule. Just by saying one little word, you can help mitigate stress and reduce the guilty emotions you feel regarding self-care activities.
At the end of the day, there is no secret formula for relieving the guilt associated with self-care. Self-care is a fundamental part of our lives as university students. As assignments, essays, tests, and exams accumulate throughout the semester, students need healthy and relaxing ways to cope with the overwhelming stress associated with these academic obligations. Although some people have mastered self-care, I’m a work in progress and I’m okay with that. So, in order to practice what I preach, if you’ll please excuse me, I have an episode of Jane the Virgin waiting for me.
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