I’m certain I’m not alone when I say that my biggest fear is rejection. Success can offer a sense of unmatched accomplishment when things are going as planned but can completely crush your spirit if you face rejection. You may often find yourself lacking self-confidence, easily succumbing to people’s changing emotions and modelling the behaviours of more experienced individuals in order to feel like you’re doing things right. However, understanding that rejection and revision are a part of everyday life will only help you prosper. In this article, I will offer tips, which by no means are exhaustive, about how you can deal with rejection in a more positive way.
1. Train your mind for rejection
Take into account that rejection is not a personal attack against you or your work, but rather a part of life. Understanding that rejection comes with territory will help you put things into perspective a lot better. You need to condition yourself to hear no sometimes. If you learn how to do so, you will condition yourself to keep trying no matter the outcome. If this sounds laborious to you, start small. Pitch an idea to the school newspaper, answer the question you are unsure about in class or make plans with your group of friends you haven’t seen in months now. Putting yourself in uncomfortable positions comes easier with practice, but know that it doesn’t have to be a negative thing.
2. Try not to pre-emptively catastrophize (visualize what you really want, not what you don’t!)
Dwelling on “what-if’s” is bound to make you anxious, which isn’t very helpful, especially because our brains are hardwired to magnify preemptive slip-ups. This often leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy, wherein a prediction is likely to come true simply by the virtue of it being made. I know, it’s easier said than done when you have one too many rejection letters lying on your desk making you believe that success isn’t possible. However, instead of constantly being pessimistic about imminent outcomes, try to visualize success and tell your mind that you are deserving of that success. If you can visualize yourself getting the desired outcome, you can understand exactly what you are in control of and what tools you need to prosper.
3. Ask for help if you need it
Don’t be afraid to branch out and ask for input on how to break through a cycle of rejection. In some fields like academia, rejection seems to be a foreign concept, so asking for help inevitably seems like an impossible feat. However, this is definitely not true. Colleagues and senior students are more experienced in dealing with rejection and will definitely lend an ear if needed. Holding in rejection may prevent the blossoming of a partnership you never expected, so don’t be afraid to seek out support. Here are some resources that you can utilize right here at Western!
4. Murder-boarding
Murder-boarding is a technique where you try to anticipate the questions that are going to be asked of you so that you don’t get caught off-guard if you face obstacles during a job interview, for example. This means you must prepare yourself to answer the tough questions. This technique helps with your credibility and overall level of confidence as you can better answer questions or present pitches. When you know what you’re talking about, you seize the amygdala’s attention by disrupting expectations. Try your hardest!
5. Remember that you will only grow, regardless of the outcome
Although it’s not easy to accept rejection, remember that you are only accelerating your learning curve through being turned down, thus creating more experiences. By conditioning yourself to hear no, you will be more in control of your emotions. Rejection doesn’t have to bog you down as much –– you need to stop, breathe and re-evaluate. Success is important too, but can surely make you complacent.
Normalizing rejection in every facet of life is extremely important, especially in academia. Academia offers a sense of complacency when things go as planned, but when they don’t, we often feel like giving up. However, understanding that rejection and failure are omnipresent realities will make you immune to fear, and by extension more prepared.
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