The Importance of Female Friends

Throughout my entire life, I have always been thought of as “one of the guys.” I would spend most of my free time in middle and high school hanging out with guy friends, going out in a car full of my closest boys, or even playing street hockey until the sun went down (and you can bet I was the best goalie out there). I think we’ve all met at least one of those girls who turn to the infamous line, “boys are less drama!” and I know this because that’s exactly who I was.

I learned a lot from being friends with boys. It opened up an opportunity for me to get an inside look at how they think and why they do what they do. Boys also give honest advice, although it can come out a little harsh sometimes. I don’t regret spending endless hours in Burrito Boyz with really good male friends but now I see that there was much more I was missing out on by dismissing my potential friendships with girls!

     My debut (traditional Filipino 18th birthday party), posing with some of my closest male friends who had special roles. (Courtesy of the author)

Throughout high school, I did have a group of close girl friends but we were significantly outnumbered by our male friends. However, I noticed that in this group there was A TON of shit talking and shady movements from my girls. It was tiring (yet entertaining) being in the middle of girl drama and I was ready to leave it behind when I left for university.

Although I had female friends, I was absolutely shocked coming to Brescia. I didn’t know what to expect. Would it be a mess of girl drama like it was in high school? Or would it be full of like-minded, mature women who wanted to make important bonds and help each other succeed? Well, to my surprise, the answer was both.

I made a good group of friends the first night I moved into residence. One of those friends, Alyssa, became one of my best friends and someone I hope to keep in my life forever. It was such a nice change to be able to sit around with girls and talk about what names we like and don’t like for our future children, our dream weddings and obviously cute boys and stupid exes. I learned that girls can actually be pretty easy to get along with as long as you find the right ones, and female friendships can be just as fulfilling and rewarding as friendships with guys! There’s a whole new breadth of topics we can discuss and a different level of emotional depth we can reach with each other.

    Flexing at the Brescia Wine and Cheese event with two of my favourite girls. (Courtesy of the author)

Without a doubt, being in an all-girls school has helped me open up to female friendships and become accepting of other women in my life. I feel it has also strengthened the few female friendships I had before university. My best friend of seven years, Roselyn, and I have definitely become closer and more nurturing. I’ve also learned a lot of good communication skills, which I use with my friend Mik from high school when we seem to have our differences.

All in all, female friendships are such a strong and important bond. It’s so nice to be able to sit and talk with girls about stereotypical girly things like skincare, clothing trends or even just bonding over similar classes and struggles in life. Don’t get me wrong, talking to boys is a great thing too but sometimes they just don’t listen like girls do. Even if a guy is a good listener, he might not totally understand where you’re coming from to help you feel heard. As Alyssa always tells me when I’m upset with my boyfriend, “guys just don’t get it, dude.”

If you were like me, I strongly recommend giving female friendships a try. Female friendships can be just as rewarding as friendships with boys as long as you find the people you’re meant to be with.

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