Spring break might be over and you might still be trying to recover but with dollar beers how can you resist?
1. There is a difference to you between going out and going out out
This is basic going out terminology and if you party too much you know exactly what I mean. Going out requires minimal effort and can mean anything from going to the movies to going to dinner. Going out out on the other hand is a whole different story.
2. You wake up thinking, “Well, I’m never doing that again,” and then you do
Your pounding head and blurred vision will momentarily have you telling yourself you are never making “bad decisions” again, but that is the biggest lie in the world and you know it. One dollar beers on Saturday anyone?
3. People come up to you saying how funny you were last night, and you have no idea who they are
Your table dancing act seems to have been quite popular. Let’s just keep it to that. You are basically a mini celebrity.
4. All your stories begin with, “I was so wasted…” and end with, “…and that’s when everything got blurry.”
Tracing back the night is a group effort. You need a timeline, witnesses and documented proof which will soon be deleted.
5. You have spent more money on cab rides and pizza than Kim Kardashian has spent on her nose job
You have the Yellow Taxi’s phone number on speed dial, and you are now on first name basis. You don’t even need to tell the pizza guy your order anymore, they just know.
6. You have hit your athletic peak during a game of beer pong
Who says you’re bad at sports? Last you remember, you were crowned champion last weekend, and the weekend before that for that matter. Now that you think about it, you’ve held onto the title for quite a few weekends.
7. You have sworn off some kind of liquor
Jäger bombs have gone from being your go-to drink to your never again faster than Rebecca Black’s five seconds of fame.
8. You spend more time getting ready than you actually spend out
This part is half the fun. It can pretty much take your night from a 7 to a 10. So go ahead, blast Taylor Swift, and take the full three hours that you absolutely need.
9. You have proven that sleep really isn’t that vital
Who says you can’t go to bed at 4am, make it to that 9am class and still finish that assignment if you go out again? They are all wrong. They are wrong, I tell you!
10. Looking at the photos on your cell phone in the morning is always an adventure
You set aside a specific time frame, to text your apologies to the entire contact list you have drunk texted and to go through the selfies and group photos where everyone’s face but yours is cut off.