Something I have learned recently is that I need to stop valuing relationships based on how long I have known the person. I only really got to know one of my closest friends about three years ago, and someone I was friends with for almost 10 years randomly cut me off. Time means nothing. When it comes to relationships, you have to look at the things that matter: how they treat you, how you treat them, and if they are helping you to become a better person. That’s the point of relationships: to help each other grow into better people. Someone you have known all your life could be preventing your growth, but you may be choosing to keep them around just because of how long you’ve known them. I’m not saying you should just go ghost and never talk to them again, but take a step back and reevaluate the relationship you have with them.
Letting go can be hard—having years and years of memories with someone, and now you need to let them go. It may seem selfish, but sometimes you have to put yourself first. What I’ve learned personally is that I’m holding onto a version of someone who is no longer there. I never believed my parents when they would say that I would outgrow some of the friends I had when I was younger, but now that I am a sophomore in college, I completely understand.
Obviously, it can hurt to let go of those close to you, but you are receiving something greater in return—the chance to grow. Letting go is the perfect opportunity to better yourself. When you remove someone from your life, it tends to come with starting a new chapter in your life. Something I’ve experienced is exploring self-love, growing relationships I already have, and just trying to be a better person in general. When you let go, you aren’t simply losing something, but you are gaining something too. Don’t let yourself spiral into insanity. Instead, let yourself be free.
Don’t let others hold you back or tie you down just because you’ve known them for so long. You’re only going to continue to grow resentment towards them and yourself. It’s okay to choose yourself sometimes, and being selfish isn’t the worst thing in the world. Once you finally allow yourself to let go and be free to grow, your life will get a whole lot better.