Officially completing a year of college without wanting to take flight by the end of it might be one of the most exhilarating feelings. Finally finding a place where you know you belong… it’s indescribable. When I transferred to West Chester University, I was so incredibly scared of having to redo the process all over again if I didn’t feel like I was “home” as everyone says. I also felt like a little bit of a loser. I’m from Kennett Square, PA, which is a short twenty-five minute drive from West Chester. It was embarrassing coming back after committing to James Madison University, which is a little over four hours away from me. I thought it meant I wasn’t strong enough to do college by myself without wanting to run home to mommy.
I soon realized it wasn’t a weakness for wanting to be closer to home. I had actually gained the strength in knowing myself that well to understand what I needed and what I would be comfortable with the second time around. But, the luxury of being close to home didn’t immediately solve all my problems. I still had to put myself out there if I wanted true relationships. I needed to get involved. I think everyone is sick of hearing that term, but it’s true, and it works. As someone riddled with anxiety and self-doubt, it is so hard to be vulnerable and make an effort. But once you do, it is so rewarding. In case you’re still feeling stuck, here’s some tips that really do work. The thing is, you have to mean it, and you have to believe in it.
1. Join Clubs that Interest You
This is the first thing they tell you when you set foot on campus, but it’s a great way to get your foot in the door. Take advantage of the club fair, and find something that relates to your major or a personal interest. You’ll be sure to meet like-minded people.
2. Think About Joining Greek Life
I never ever thought I would enjoy being in a sorority. It all seemed so fake, and I had boiled it down to the fact that you were simply just paying for friends. However, joining one at West Chester was much more lax than it would be at an SEC school. It is much less expensive, and it isn’t as time-consuming or scary. When I transferred here last fall, the VPR of Alpha Sigma Alpha reached out to me to invite me to get coffee and come to COB events to meet some girls. The rest is history. I never would have thought that a sorority would be enticing at all, but I’ve found a community I wouldn’t trade for anything.
3. Introduce Yourself to Classmates
It’s definitely difficult to say hi to classmates, but even just one would suffice. You’ll be with them the rest of the semester, so there’s the possibility that you may need to study or compare notes. If the class you’re taking is required for your major, even better! You both have a common interest, and it would be easy to reach out and ask if they’d like to get food after class to go over the lesson.
4. Introduce Yourself to Neighbors
It’s easier to feel connected in a dorm because you can keep your door open and pop over to someone else’s if theirs is too. However, apartment living gets a little tricky. If you live in a house, it can be hard to just knock on your neighbor’s door. But, in a building, try sliding a note under their door letting them know of your presence, or you can be friendly anytime you see someone in the hallway. Strike up conversations when you see fit, and see where it leads you.
Remember, there’s no shame in thinking you may need to transfer again because you don’t feel comfortable where you are. At the end of the day, being a transfer student isn’t something to be ashamed of. It just means you were brave enough to admit when something wasn’t right and you were strong enough to try again. Finding where you belong doesn’t always happen on the first try, and that’s okay. So if you’re still in that in-between stage where you’re still figuring it out and still feeling a little lost, just know you’re not alone. Give it time, put yourself out there in whatever ways you can, and trust that things will start to fall into place. And if they don’t? You’re allowed to change up anything you want. It’s your life, after all, so take advantage of that fact.