Don’t Let Breakups Ruin Your Individuality

Breakups, what a wonderful thing… not. I think we can all agree that breakups, whether it’s with a significant other or a friend, is one of the hardest things to cope with, especially if it’s with someone that holds a special place in your heart. While these situations are tough, it’s important to keep in mind that everything happens for a reason. You may not believe in that, but I sure do. Just because a chapter in your life with someone ended, doesn’t mean that your world is over. This opens the opportunity for you to learn, let go, and grow.

 

Calling it quits with someone you thought was the one is rough. It’s crazy how much someone can mean to you. You develop this indescribable connection between the two of you and it’s something that you want to hold on to forever. It’s irreplaceable and unique because it’s something that takes time to create, you can’t just do it overnight. When you look at your significant other and you see your whole world standing there, it’s like a dream come true. You found who you’ve been looking for your entire life, it’s something you’ve always imagined happening. You promise one another that you’ll stick by each other’s side through thick and thin, but unfortunately, not everyone keeps their promise. No relationship is perfect and not all will last, which sucks. It’s an instinct to hold on to the one that you swore you would do anything for, but when they slowly start to fade away, before your eyes, and there’s nothing for you to do to stop it, it’s something that no one will ever know how to properly cope with. It’s heartbreaking, downright heartbreaking. You do everything in your will power to make someone else happy, just for everything you have worked towards, come to an end. Maybe it ended on a bad note but maybe it was a mutual decision to end things, there will always be some amount of pain. It's important to move on though. It's not expected that you move on in a specific amount of time, it's different for everyone. We all have different ways of coping with these types of things that throw our emotions into a hectic whirlwind. However, don't let this fallout ruin you. You don't need someone else to make you happy so don't depend on another individual to give you that feeling. The only person that needs to make you happy is yourself. Go eat a pint of your favorite ice cream, binge watch all of your favorite shows and movies, go out with friends, do whatever makes you happy. This is a time for you to heal and recover, but to also grow. These are lessons in life that are necessary to help you grow as a person. Don't isolate yourself from the world after a breakup, that's the worst thing you could do. Take some time to yourself to reflect and move on, then go out and live your life with those that love and support you.

Friendship breakups are the absolute worse of them all, am I right ladies? It’s so easy for us to say things like “fries before guys” or “chicks before dicks” because we know that our friends will always have our backs. When that friendship is lost, we feel as if there is nowhere for us to go, no one for us to go to… we get lost. The level of pain skyrockets. Friendship breakups aren’t discussed nearly as much as romantic ones, a 2017 study found that people in friendship breakups are more likely to make individuals feel more isolated. From this, it’s easy to say that losing a friend has more of an emotional toll. From a young age, we are taught to make as many friends as we possibly can. We become “friends” with others but usually stop talking to some after a while, but there are always a select few that we connect with to a deeper level and become true friends with. We exchange our deepest secrets that no one else would even come close to being told, we spill our emotions out to each other… our best friends know everything about you as a person. To me, the most difficult part of losing a best friend is the fact that we don't have a sense of doubt when we begin this relationship like a romantic one. In a romantic relationship, we always think that things will fall through – but we don't get that feeling with friendship. Friendships are special and unforgettable. When we break up with our friends, we don't know what to do with ourselves. This pain is worse because we don't have anyone to rely on. The best thing that you can do in this situation, is to distract yourself and do activities to keep yourself busy. Go outside and get some fresh air, exercise to work on yourself so you feel better, both mentally and physically, you need to remember to take care of yourself. It's key to living a happy life.

People come and go, it's how life works. Every breakup is difficult to deal with but it's important to remember that things will get better. It may be shitty at the moment but with the help of time, things will gradually get better. Relationships with other people aren’t forever, some just aren’t meant to be for various reasons, but do not let them ruin you. You are you. These are life moments that teach you how to heal, recover and grow as a person. Take these situations and turn them into something good for yourself.

 

Credits: Cover, 1, 2