We’ve all been there before. Coming to college brings forth a lot of new things – new location, new faces, new things to adapt to. In addition to this, we are growing as well and trying to create our own separate identity from what we have been taught the first 18 to 19 years of our lives. Amongst all this, it can be a true challenge trying to navigate it all. For many of us, we can end up with some significant alone time. Through my years of experience and the knowledge I have amassed, here are three tips that I found useful in…
Learning how to be ok with some “you” time.
Focus on your race
Have you ever heard the age-old question? “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer simply put is “one bite at a time”! In today’s social media-driven world, it gets tricky trying to be patient when waiting for your come up. One of the biggest pieces of advice that I got was from a Sabbath service a couple of weeks ago, “If you are too focused on coming up off someone else’s blessing, you will end up missing yours.” It can and will get worse before it gets better, but one thing that keeps me going is my favorite verse from my favorite book in the Bible – “For I consider (from the standpoint of faith) that the sufferings of the present life will not compare to the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us” (Romans 8:18, AMP) [Text Wrapping Break]
Evaluate past relationships
Whether it be immediate past romantic relationships, friendships, or even interactions with siblings/parents, they all influence the way we handle being alone. For the longest time, I felt like I needed to do what others wanted to do – even if it made me feel uncomfortable or was not something, I wanted to do. I also noticed that I relied on others for validation and happiness (Chileeee, when I tell you how tiring that was…). Constant let-downs, broken promises, and low self-esteem were all results of years of being subjected to these types of relationships. Upon doing research, I found out that a chunk of my previous relationships was codependent in nature. Mental Health America defines co-dependence as, “an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship” (MHA had no business being this loud. AT. ALL!). So, fast forward a couple of weeks from first finding this out and I am doing better at unlearning these old habits. You will occasionally find yourself slipping up from time to time, especially when loneliness creeps in. But I would urge, whoever is reading this, to write down your standards as a baseline for what you expect from your relationships and doing your best not to settle for anything less. As my favorite verse from the Bible states, “I praise You (God) because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well” (Psalms 139:14, NIV).
Find joy in all that you do! This was the BIGGEST lesson I learned in the past year that I have been with my church. Every day that we get up is a blessed opportunity to live, learn, and love. So, take the risk! Join a club, make new friends, ask your crush on a date, start that business you have always wanted to but never did. Take advantage of every day because there is someone that was not as fortunate as you to get that chance. So, as I leave you all with these nuggets, I encourage you to remember that we only get one life. Why try to be like everyone else when you have the power to be unapologetically you?