TW: Talk of Sexual Assault and eating disorders
Let’s break down triggers. It’s a normal day, you get out of bed and go through whatever your routine is, and then all of the sudden, something changes. Sometimes you don’t know what changed; you don’t know why you can’t think straight, why your stomach is in knots, or why you feel overstimulated. Other times your triggers come in flashbacks of being raped, of someone on top of you, holding you down. Sometimes you eat something and remember that it was that one food that you had a hard time purging before, leading into a mental breakdown. Sometimes you just fall apart, and it’s completely unexpected. You feel completely alone, but you really aren’t. So many of us are standing with you. So many of us are feeling the exact same thing that you are. When you’ve been through traumatic things, triggers are bound to happen. It’s a matter of figuring out how to deal with them.
First, step back and take a deep breath. I usually inhale for five seconds and exhale for five seconds. I do this ten times and it helps me get to a calmer state where I can get ahold of my senses. I then ask myself what I’m hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, and tasting, and answer myself in the most detailed way possible. This is another way to make sure that you’re grounded in the present moment. If I’m feeling safe enough, I take a second to reflect; what exactly brought on the panic attack? Was it something in the environment, did I see somebody who has been a source of my anxiety before? Has my routine been disturbed? Did I hear something? Did I just happen to think about my past? These are important questions to ask yourself so that you can begin to identify your triggers and maybe avoid them in the future. Of course, not all triggers are avoidable and predictable, but we need to try to grasp them as best as we can.
Try to tune yourself into the moment, remember that no one can hurt you. Your past doesn’t have to be your present. You are okay, it just takes time.