I try to take on as much as I can because I need to do this.
I need to be busy and prioritize others before myself.
Not others only as in people but class, work, writing, sleeping, partying.
Why don’t I sit down and relax?
My head is giving migraines while my body is limping and then I have to prioritize them.
But then to get into law school I have to read and write and write and read and work and read and work and type but never relax.
Then to be cool, I have to be polite or play around but then when I get tired of playing around and become deadass serious it’s always “you can’t take a joke?”
It becomes a “you’re fucking with me?”
It develops into a “You sure you don’t want to?”
So when I prioritize myself and stand up for myself it’s my fault because it always turns out to be the fault of someone who is tired of pretending.
Then like I said when I play around and pretend too much I’m aggressive but when I show my feminine side I’m too soft.
But then when I don’t want to talk I’m too quiet.
I’m overworked and this is all making me tired.