Rain Leaves Nature Green Plant

Leaves

TW: ED

 

Upon entering this world, I should have been nothing less than groundbreaking with the space I knew to take up. I should have been nothing less than my purest form: unapologetic

Pure. When I didn’t yet know the fear that taught me to be sorry. Back when we knew to meet our needs without an apology. When we were hungry and knew to answer it.

But I’m sorry because I’ve been sorry too much. I’m sorry that my inability to be unapologetic has kept you hungry. I’m sorry that you’ve known nothing but craving the rays of the sun that you deserved. That you needed.

I’m sorry that I was too sorry to nourish you. I’m only now realizing that your wilted leaves have been craving much more than this for far too long. 

I grew angry at every headache, every dizzy spell, every uneasy step. This whole time you’ve needed me, but I was too sorry to hear your call.

I’ve damaged your roots but you’re holding your own. You’ve dried yourself out from the labels you couldn’t hold. Thirsty, but keeping me here.

Body, I see you and I love you. I’m sorry that our love has been so complicated. I’m sorry that my love language has been nothing short of ruthless. I”m sorry that I still don’t know the right ways to love you, but I’ll start by watering your leaves.