When we’re asked how we are, our answers aren’t usually genuine. We say “I’m doing fine”as a way to hide what we’re actually feeling. You have too much to do, your anxiety is off the walls, your past is coming back to haunt you, and sometimes it feels that life itself is just too much; but you reply with “I’m doing fine”
I’ve been asked over and over again how I’m able to be so open about what I’ve been through, and the truth is, it’s because I know that being open allows me to grow as a person and possibly help others. I’ve come to learn that vulnerability is actually a strength, where opening up has helped me connect with myself and others, so much that it has lead me down the road to recovery.
Trying to hide what I was going through following traumatic events only made things worse. I felt so alone; at first I didn’t even bother talking to anyone about it because I thought no one would get it. But we only feel like this because we’re expected to hide our experiences. Fuck that. It’s okay not to be okay… your emotions are valid. I didn’t know this until I opened up about how I was really feeling.
This is something that I wish I knew before trauma, but also something that I gained from experiencing trauma. If I had known how to talk about it, maybe I wouldn’t have found myself stuck in an abusive relationship. If I knew how to talk about it, maybe my relationship with food wouldn’t be a negative one. If I had known how to talk about it, maybe my anxiety wouldn’t control me the way that it does. If I had known how to talk about it, it wouldn’t have taken me years to get back onto my feet.
We all have experienced pain in some sort of way, so why don’t we treat it like any other emotion? Talk about it. Say what you’re feeling. Chances are, you’re not alone in this; you just think you are because we don’t talk about it. It’s time to change this, break the stigma.
If you’re loving life fully right now, that’s awesome! But on the other side of the coin, if you’re struggling, that’s okay, too. There’s no reason to hide how you’re feeling, it’s all natural.
Having emotion doesn’t make you less of a person, if anything, it makes you more real. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, it’s something that many of us aren’t able to do.
Be real. Let yourself feel. It’s okay not to be okay.