Next week, I’m turning twenty. With this comes anxiety, uncertainty, and excitement. All of my friends have turned twenty already and I’ve been dreading the day. I often try to challenge my thoughts and ask myself why I’m dreading it — and I’ve realized that jumping from your teens to twenties is a big, daunting step.
Society has taught us that when we enter our twenties, we automatically need to start figuring everything out, which introduces lots of pressure into our lives. We need to know what career we want to have, when we want to get married, and when we want to have children. In reality, everyone’s 20s will look different, and everyone’s life, for that matter, will vary. There is no timeline of when you need to get married or have kids, if you chose to at all. I find comfort in reminding myself that everyone’s course of action over their twenties will be different, and that’s okay. Comparing ourselves to others will not reduce the anxiety some of us may be facing. Your friend may be getting married in her early twenties and you could still be single, waiting to find the right person — so what? This doesn’t make you lesser, and it certainly doesn’t mean you don’t have your life put together. You’re simply focusing on something else in your life at the moment.
To anyone who’s turning twenty soon, or if you’re struggling with this mindset that you need to speed up your life and figure out what you want to do, know that you’re not alone. There are many people in the same boat as you, myself included. I get it; pressure from family, friends, and professors can be overwhelming when they ask, “What do you want to do when you graduate?” or, “Why don’t you have a significant other yet? So-and-so is already getting married.” This pressure can be difficult to deal with and it can send you into a spiral of overthinking. Recognizing these feelings and framing them in a more positive way helps me with these jitters. Focus on all of the good things that you’re doing at the moment and what you have yet to experience, while also taking note of how far you’ve come in the first place.
In hindsight, perhaps writing this article was exactly what I needed to feel better. I hope it inspires you and makes you feel better as well. At the end of the day, we all experience this common thing called “life.” Not everyone’s life course will look the same, and that’s what makes us unique. It’s extremely important to be happy with where you are so that you don’t miss out on the process of getting to where you want to be. So, keep doing you and forget the pressures from society or your loved ones. Find your passion and take comfort in knowing that everything will turn out okay, even if it’s not exactly in the way you’d hoped for. For anyone turning twenty, good luck on this next chapter of your life — I know you’ll do great things.