COVID-19 has taken the world by storm.
This dangerous virus has spread at an incredible speed, leaving many loved ones sick, and the rest of us, in quarantine. Countries all across the world slapped quarantine laws, demanding people to close businesses, public places, and stay at home in order to reduce the risk of spreading COVID-19. Something that was a little blimp in most people’s lives only a month ago is now all everyone can think about – all I can think about.
Upon first hearing about the coronavirus and the steps states in the U.S were taking, I was angry. Mostly because I was misinformed, and like every young adult, I was upset that all the plans I had made were being abruptly canceled, my freedom to see my friends and family restricted, even my freedom to simply go outside was limited! Who would’ve ever thought that going outside and socializing was something the world would ever take for granted!
As an introverted person, I like solitude. There were a handful of times where instead of going out and having fun with friends, I would opt to stay in with the company of myself, and relish in the solitude I had. Of all people, I would’ve thought I could handle the initial four week quarantine. However, a few days droned by and even I began to go crazy. Wishing I could go out and do homework at my favorite cafe. Thinking of all the times I had said no to going out and hating myself. Feeling waves of longing to see my friends again, and not just through a screen, but next to me, hugging them and laying next to them talking about random stuff like we always did. It was something I had never experienced before.
Along with the longing to see my friends came with the loneliness, and with the loneliness came depressed thoughts. Self isolation can really take a toll on mental health, but I didn’t realize how much until I was subjected to it. Imagine feeling utterly and completely alone, not just physically, but also mentally, and having nothing you can do about it. It was the worst thing ever, and while I eventually pulled myself out of it, it was hard to deal with.
With that low point also came an opportunity for me to really self reflect. To look inward at who I am, my life, and all the things I could improve on. I realized there were so many things that I wanted to learn, wanted to improve on, that I could. With the absence of people also came the absence of comparison. I could be whoever I wanted to be in front of myself because I knew I wouldn’t judge myself, and it got me thinking: why can’t I do that all the time? Even with everyone around me? Why do I feel ashamed to like certain things, or do other things that I don’t enjoy because I want to appease the masses and fit in, when I should do what makes me happy?
This is what led me to decide that while this quarantine is a sad and painful time for the world, it can also be a good thing. Everyone is talking about how to make the most of the quarantine, and it probably gets old to hear it, but it’s true. I decided that I was going to take this time to really work on who I was. To be comfortable loving what I love, and exploring all these ideas, hobbies and projects that I have either never had the chance or the time to do, or never did because I was worried what others would think. For example, I love to sing, and I’ve always wanted to make my own music. Seeing what people say behind growing artists’ backs that I know has always held me back. I don’t want people to think I’m being stupid or unrealistic, or to make fun of me. That’s always what stopped me, and I refuse to let it stop me anymore. I am taking time during this quarantine to learn how to produce my own music, work on my guitar skills, and write as much as I can. That’s just the tip of it, too. There are so many other things I want to build on: my style, painting, working out and eating healthy, and so much more. This is the time to do it all, and I know that.
So, I might have been angry and sad about all this free time I suddenly had, but it made me realize it is space for self improvement. To get to know myself, to be confident in who I am, and to improve my mind and body. Hopefully, everyone else out there will do these things, too.