I’ve hated any sort of big change for as long as I can remember and I’m sure that’s pretty common for a lot of people. I used to complain about my routine my junior year of high school, but what I soon came to realize was that I surprisingly enjoyed having a routine every day and hated it being disrupted. Whether it was my own personal attributions that led to my hatred of change or just my anxiety, I dreaded any big change in my life and it would lead to some distress.
The past year and a half of my life has brought on a lot of changes; thankfully I have learned better coping skills (shoutout to my therapist, you’re a real one) and my mindset about change has altered. One of things I’ve realized in reflecting on the changes that have occurred in my life is that I, surprisingly, don’t hate change anymore. I don’t see it as a horrible thing. I’ve changed a lot as a person and there have been plenty of changes in my life.
I vividly remember a conversation I had the summer before I left for college with my boyfriend at the time, in which he had said that college was going to change me. Which I agreed with. But he was wording it in a way that made it seem as though changing would be a bad thing. A couple months into my time at UW I reconnected with that ex and an old friend and they had both commented on how much college had changed me and I realized I had changed, but that it was a completely natural and okay thing.
I struggled with the changes I had made as a person in going to college and life in general as I was being a little more irresponsible than I usually am. But I realized that it was silly for them to expect me to be the same person. I’m human. I couldn’t have stayed the same, I was in a different environment with completely different people and living independently. It was impossible for me not to change. I changed as a person because that is what people do. If we went through life staying the same people, then we would miss out on any personal growth that needed to happen.
My best friend is a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and I wholeheartedly agree with her on that. Sure, crappy situations happen and sometimes it really sucks. We make mistakes and we do things we regret but all of that leads to development. We reflect on the changes that occur within our lives and we adapt to new things because we are living beings and that is what is supposed to happen.
If I was the same person I was even a couple years ago, I wouldn’t be doing half of things I’m doing now. If people didn’t change, that means there isn’t any hope for any one of us to become better versions of ourselves. Which is why I’ve learned to embrace any change that occurs within my life. Of course, I still complain, and it still sometimes stresses me out, but I realized that change is a good thing. Something that is essential to our wellbeing.
While any form of change is scary and maybe even annoying, it is a learning opportunity. A chance to change for better, to learn something new about yourself. While some people may comment on any changes you make it’s important to remember who you are. I realized I had changed a lot and I struggled with my identity as a result of it. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and my therapist helped me remember that despite the changes I had undergone, I was still living up to the values that are important to me. I was still the same person I was before, just a slightly different and hopefully better version.
So, I leave you with the slightly corny message that change is vital thing in our lives. It can lead to good things and maybe some not so good things but in the end, everything happens for a reason and you might even learn a thing or two from it.