As I step onto the stage, my heartbeat attempts to escape from my chest. Standing before an audience has a funny way of making you feel vulnerable. The lights become brighter, the silence emphasizes every echo, and you find yourself searching the blurry crowd in an attempt to read their expressions. In seconds, my brain spirals. Can they tell I’m nervous? Do I make any sense? Am I doing enough?
Public speaking is one of the most valuable skills you can develop–yet for many people, the idea of having an audience creates a vulnerability that makes even the most confident person second-guess their own abilities. Early on in my college journey, I was well aware that I was terrified of public speaking, but as a student in the business school, I knew this activity–which felt more like a death sentence–was one I would need to grow comfortable with. After settling into the flow of college, I decided to face this fear head-on by signing up for an intro to public speaking course. Feeling proud of my decision, I researched the class to understand what I had gotten myself into. That’s when I saw it.Â
Assignment 1: Impromptu speeches…
My heart dropped, and I began to wonder if trying to conquer this fear wasn’t worth the embarrassment of publicly failing. Impromptu speeches require the presenter to only become aware of the topic right before presenting, adding a layer of “what-ifs” and making the idea of succeeding feel impossible. I thought maybe I should just give up.
I realise now that this anxiety wasn’t solely from my fear of stuttering or messing up a few lines. I was terrified that if I messed up, people would view me as incapable. As a first generation college student, I felt like I needed to prove myself by succeeding in everything I attempted. Mistakes felt like failure, and I worried that if I wasn’t perfect, then I would be disappointing those around me.Â
Even with a successful impromptu speech, I found myself overanalyzing my performance with “should-haves.” I should have emphasized my words, I should have looked at the audience more, I should have paused sooner. Going down this path made me miserable, nitpicking at every action in an attempt to meet an unachievable level of perfection.Â
Over time, I began to realise something. Moments I considered “failures” were actually moments that pushed me to improve the most. Every forgotten line, every shaky word, and every awkward delivery helped me understand my strengths and where I needed to improve for my next assignment. The speeches that didn’t go as well were often the ones that taught me the importance of practice and confidence. Slowly, I stopped viewing my mistakes as proof that I was incapable and began seeing them as proof that I was learning and improving.
I know this all sounds easier said than done, and to be completely honest, there are still days when I find myself terrified to go up on stage and speak to a crowd of people. But I realize, now, that in order to succeed I had to alter my speech development in a way that was unique and helpful to me. I spent hours watching other speeches, learning the way the speakers presented themselves. I asked my professor and TA for advice. And most importantly, as I practiced with my peers, I realized that most people held the same fears that I did and were not focusing on my occasional stumble. This moment taught me that confidence was found in my determination to continue reaching for my goals, even when fear consumed me.
Although I still get nervous from time to time when presenting speeches, I no longer fault myself, and instead take it as an opportunity to improve. Looking back now, I am incredibly glad I didn’t drop my public speaking course. That shift in my mindset changed everything, and at the end of the quarter, I was asked to be an on-campus speech consultant for other UW students. Now, as a speech consultant, I work daily with students who hold the same fears I once held. I feel grateful for taking a risk and trying something I knew would be difficult because it has allowed me to not let the idea of failure scare me away from success, and allowed my personal growth to develop far beyond public speaking.