For those of you who have experienced Soulcycle, you know this is not anything like riding a bicycle– unless your bicycle is on steroids. For those of you who have not gotten to experience this one-of-a-kind form of heart-pounding, beat-chasing, ego-boosting exercise, let me give you an overview of what it’s like.
You walk into this bright, yellow, and white room filled with smiling females who look as if they are ready to burst with cheer. You sign in, get your shoes, and then venture into the locker hallway from hell. It’s the first glimpse of your extremely put-together competition. Over three-fourths are women in sports bras and look as if they’ve just walked out of an advertisement. The people that say it’s not a competitive place are seriously deranged. Lights on or off, you’ll be looking around at who’s kicking your ass and who’s not.
There are about five different types of people you’ll encounter at Soul. First off, there are the ultra-fit moms that look like they’ve never had a child or gained a pound in their life. How they do it, we don’t know. Second, there are the girls that go simply to take a mirror selfie and post it on Instagram or Snapchat. It would be hypocritical to say that’s never been me. Then there are the adorable gay men that seem to have an endless amount of energy and whoop and holler the entire ride. And you can’t forget about the fit couples that always ride together while occasionally pausing to glimpse at their hulk of a partner. And then there’s me. Wobbling around thinking, what the hell am I doing in a sports bra in public riding on a bike with a bunch of strangers for the most of an hour.
Your first time is guaranteed to be rough. You’ll walk into this room of bikes so close together you’d think they’re herding cattle. I have this theory that they force such close proximity to build the sweat in the room and make you think you’re working even harder than you are. The instructors are omnipotent gods who manage to yell and encourage you while doing this 45-minute cardio mania flawlessly. They are supposed to be empowering, but there are days when you simply want to tell them to shove it. There are also days that they are your therapist from heaven. They’re charming and all, but when you’re dying the perkiness only goes so far – especially when they correct you for doing it wrong.
I should warn you though that every class ends with the “blowing out of the candles.” The room is lit with a bunch of candles and in the end, the instructor will take them to the four hardest working people and have them blow it out. Nothing says good job like watching someone else get praised for working harder, right? But besides all that I’ve said, it’s a one of a kind experience and can be really fun. Unless you can’t afford to spend a boatload of money on joining a cult. That’s your prerogative. There is a reason it’s so popular. For me, it’s therapeutic. Riding to the beat and dancing around to blaring music is my kind of activity. So although I’ve said all that’s wrong with it, I’m one who believes you have to try something out before you judge it. So go get your Soul on– and if the peppy, overpriced, stationary bike rides don’t do it for you, then at least you gave it a shot!