Everyone has said it. You’ve heard it from teachers and parents and the media. “College is a big change.” “Change is hard.” We’ve all heard it and if you are anything like me, you thought you would be exempt from the difficulties of change. And if you are anything like me, the first few weeks of college have been tough. Exhilarating, but tough.
What can we do until we feel at home in a new environment? I don’t think anyone has all of the answers, but these are 6 things I learned about change in my first three weeks of college.
1. It’s okay to be homesick, embrace it.
In the first two weeks of college I was so swept up in all the events and classes that I felt “too busy” to be homesick. Now don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to feel homesick, but for me when it did finally hit me, I was very in denial about missing home. I realized that being homesick is much like other grief. The only way out is through it. It’s important to feel sad to feel happy again. And that sad feeling will pass, it is not forever. Missing home is normal and its important to remember that those who you love at home can love you just as much now.
2. You don’t need a harsh routine right away, give yourself time to adjust.
My first week at college, I woke up at 6 am every morning and took the 10 minute walk in the morning cold to the gym. I then had a strict pre-class study routine and after about eight days of this routine, I was entirely burnt out. I remember one morning I slept in until about 9 am and I was so worried my life would be thrown off balance. But I eventually adjusted and after a few 9 am mornings and no pre-class studying, I found a happy medium. You will adjust and find a good routine for you. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to wake up in the early hours of the morning or to study eight hours a day. You will find your way.
3. College may be the best four years of your life, but it doesn’t have to be.
Expectations can crush you. And along with the sentiment that “change is hard” you will also hear that “college is supposed to be the best four years of your life.” “Supposed to be” can be a dangerous phrase. These may very well be the best four years, but that doesn’t mean they will be exempt from difficulty and its important that expectations are set appropriately. You don’t have to have dozens of friends or get straight As or go to a party every week. “The best” may look different for you. Embrace these years as your next step, not what you have been told they should be like.
4. Don’t make grand plans just yet, take it one day at a time
I love to plan. Sometimes my to-do lists have to-do lists. It can be tough to not come into these four years with plans and pre-established routines. But some of the most successful advice I have been given is to take life one day at a time. You may not have enough right not to prepare for midterms and to meet your lifelong best friend and to join 5 clubs, but you have enough for today, whatever that looks like for you. Embrace today for what it is.
5. You might not meet your best friends right away
At every event I went to in my first week at UW, I pushed myself to be overly extroverted and hoped that I would meet my future best friends. I texted and double texted and sometimes you just don’t click with people and that’s okay. The people that ended up being my friends now were actually those that I didn’t have to try overly hard to click with. You will make friends, you will find your people. It doesn’t have to happen right away.
6. Hope is worth holding on to
Ultimately, college is an exciting time and no matter what your first few weeks have been like, there is so much that lies ahead that holds so much joy. Hope is powerful and we need it now more than ever. You are not alone. These next few years has exciting things for us all, embrace the change.