*sad nibbling noises*
POV: You just started university, and it’s NOT like the online stuff you see.
The vivid images of a “found family” friendship group, spontaneous boba runs between lectures, midnight study groups with steaming cups of instant ramen… In your expectations, settling down would be a breeze – you would quickly take charge and live out your best protagonist college life.
Instead, you often find yourself alone: eating, shopping, studying… It’s a prickling sensation that makes you hyper-aware of your surroundings and a persisting dullness, a hollowness that deepens as the day gets darker.
As an international freshman who travelled 14 hours across the globe, those were my experiences. Any romanticisation of university life was gone when homesickness smacked me across the face. Instead of all the events I could have attended and the socialisation I could have done, the stress from being in an unfamiliar environment pinned me down to my dorm. I soon found myself living in “mouse moments”.
It was a meme I recently discovered on TikTok: a clip of a tiny mouse nibbling at a piece of M&M, paired with a melancholic piano soundtrack in the back. Its popularity peaked during September this year – school season – as many used it to describe moments when they were forced to spend time alone. In the comments sections of the tagged TikToks, audiences tend to resonate with the mouse’s loneliness, often lamenting their lack of social lives compared to the people around them. Feeling the same, I sought to call my high school friends and talk to new friends I have made at UW, and discovered that the experience is essentially universal.
In fact, it is entirely normal for college students to feel alone. According to the 2022 Student Academic Experience Survey, nearly one in four respondents felt lonely “all” or “most” of the time. The American Psychological Association reported that Gen Z is the most likely to feel lonely. Coupled with a new environment, a different academic system, and an overwhelming number of new things to learn as you embark on the journey of “adulting,” it’s no surprise that loneliness creeps up on us during our most vulnerable moments.
Yet, it seems like the whole world has already found its people between Instagram stories and BeReal posts (hot take: BeReal is false authenticity). During times like this, it is essential to remember the false reality of social media and to place yourself in their spot: between eating with friends and eating alone, which moment would you want to share with the world? The answer is obvious.
The problem with loneliness is not loneliness itself, but not normalising loneliness. This could lead to serious mental health issues and hinder our daily performance. There is nothing wrong with feeling alone and struggling to settle into new environments: everyone has their own timelines for doing things. Of course, this should not be used as an excuse to not attempt socialisation. It is still important to step out of your comfort zone and take the initiative in certain situations – don’t miss out on anything that you know you will regret in the future. However, mental health always comes first, and there is no shame in taking things at your own pace.